Today I watched an excellent clip produced by RSAnimate based on a talk by Daniel Pink. It describes some of the essence behind The WHY Questions: How people are driven by autonomy, mastery and purpose, rather than money when the task at hand is complicated, when it requires conceptual and creative thinking.

I recommend watching this 10 minute video. There's not a dull moment - promise!

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Networking has taken on a new dimension the past few years. That's why it's time to ask a couple of serious questions. WHY should you nurture and build the people in your network? WHAT is important to the people in your network? WHO is important to you? HOW can you tell whether or not a person in your network is worth your trust and effort?

Only five years ago it was a lot easier to spot a true networker. These days, everybody is somehow into it. With the exploding social media everyone is connecting with friends, family and business associates. This however, does not mean that we're all networking networkers. Far from it!

A "networker" is someone who is genuinely interested in building value for the people he or she interacts with. The most basic trait of a skilled networker is someone that completely abdicates self interest by constantly asking: "What can I do for this particular individual - right now". A networker thrives simply by giving, offering excellent service without pay and can keep going without expecting anything in return - ever. That does not mean a networker is not paid. All research indicates quite the opposite. However, if that someone - while seemingly giving - secretely harbors an objective or hidden agenda of getting more than giving, then that sought after reward will remain missing. There is something magical about true, sincere and honest intent!

Before Facebook, LinkedIn and all other networking solutions I kept my network of contacts in a spreadsheet with thousands of key people. For obvious reasons I no longer maintain contact information and current status updates manually like this. (And if you do, you're wasting time. Today's paradigm has moved towards "everyone updates their own information".)

WHY

So, why network? There are many reasons. The most obvious one is "because networking is a lifestyle, and it's the right thing to do". Right thing? Yes, people who care will find people who care. People who don't care will soon find themselves alone. To me that sounds like an irrefutable law to prove its validity and eternal principle. But there's another reason why sincere networking is so powerful: "Because it's smart". With a big network, you'll find that almost any task becomes much easier. There's always someone who knows someone that has what you need.

WHAT

The tricky part in networking is what. The reason being, offering people what they need is being flexible to take a time-out and help people as the need arises. That, as you know, is hard, simply because everybody has a hectic schedule. In my experience, the people who want to help are better at this than those who do, but don't want to. "Intent counts more than technique (Quote: Mahan Khalsa)."

Even more important, I'd say, is looking for opportunities. A good networker will respond to needs, reactively. On the other hand, an excellent networker proactively seeks to create opportunities to create value for others. He or she asks effective questions to uncover needs, connects people that overlap in purpose and effort, and maybe above all - follows up to make sure it went well. So many people create value, but when left without follow up, they miss reciprocity, which almost always appears in some form or another when you're seeking to finish what you started.

WHO

Who's important? That's easy. Everyone is. I'm serious! When interacting with humans you simply don't separate between important and unimportant. You may have a pressing need to speak with someone, but that doesn't make that single person more important or noteworthy than anyone else.

I often encounter people who obviously are too much occupied with title, rank and/or position. Over the years I've learned an important lesson. Hear it from me: First of all, people are of equal value and if you don't really believe it, you'll act accordingly and sooner or later it'll catch up with you. Secondly, but that's only nice to remember, you never know who's who in a few years from now. One quick example:

I once spent several hours helping a young man who was working for a small insignificant company. They had no budget and nothing to offer, it seemed. Because I was responsible for our companies' policies and because I did care, he received all the help he needed. One year later he contacted me again, this time as the CTO of a major corporation. As a result of my previous investment in time and effort we now partnered up and did BIG business.

HOW

How do we know if someone is worth our trust and effort? First, like I said, everyone's worth an effort. What about trust? Do you really want to know who you can trust? The answer is obvious. Whoever does and lives by the above mentioned characteristics:

• People who care because they care - without any thought of reward (WHY)
• People who offer to help when it's not convenient (WHAT)
• People who treat all people alike (WHO)

Be a networker, but make sure to rise above the crowd. It used to be like that. It still is!

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Of all self defeating behaviors, the worst stain must be the illusion of change - the fact that most of us remain in old and ingrown patterns and either don't know it or don't believe we do. Real change is slow, rarely found and a tough, honest and soul searching process when it occurs.

					Many years ago I studied the work of Robert E. Hardy on Self Defeating Behaviors (SDBs). Simply put, we tend to establish and maintain patterns, even those patterns that are self destructive. To begin with, that particular pattern or behavior served to help or protect us (which is why we established it), but when circumstances change and people mature, and because our approach is not principle based, it now hurts us, bars our way and keeps us from reaching new goals and higher levels of achievement. In other words, we hang on to patterns of behavior even though they don't treat us well.

Here's the bad news: We're all deeply entrenched in many self defeating behaviors. Most of them are hard to recognize. Many of them are difficult to admit to. Some are obvious and we hate to face them for what they really are. The good news is: We can eliminate SDBs, if we're willing to face them and deal with them.

Can you think of a self defeating behavior you're suffering from? How would you like to get rid of it?

						Well, there certainly is no quick and easy answer to such a big and important question. However, for the sake of briefly introducing you to what matters most and how you can make it happen for real, here's what you should be looking into: Change begins and lives with PASSION. Nothing else will last. You will succeed only together with others. Establish a CONNECTION with the right people. The most important answers are found inside yourself, so search your INTUITION.

These three; Passion, Connection and Intuition represent a proven process for change, improvement and greater influence in the lives of the people around us, just to name a few benefits. You want this. You may not know it yet. However, sooner or later you'll find that success in any area inevitably will bring you to visit each of these three areas. Why not apply simple wisdom and humility by learning more, right now?

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The slogan of any sales training should be "More business with better clients". More business is not necessarily good business. You've probably heard it before.

			When sales people desperately want to succeed they tend to welcome any client into their sales funnel. Consequently, the pipeline is filled with an excess of bad business. What's bad business? Well, not only does this uncritical sales activity lead to a waste of time on business that will never be closed. It also means wasting time on customers that will waste your time even when you do get the business. That's bad business!

When I was a young boy, I asked my father why he kept cutting down the different trees in our garden. In my mind, a big tree was a good tree. My father explained to me how a trimmed tree always lives longer and remains much more productive or fruitful. The same goes for sales and business!

Sales training is about getting back to basic. It's about focus. If training doesn't help you find which clients you want and HOW to do it, then training will only make you more busy doing what doesn't lead to profitable customers. Believe me, more business with poor clients, is not want you want.

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Regardless of what project you're in and no matter what your purpose or task might be, sooner or later we always end up asking ourselves: "Things are not going too well... what can I do to improve?"

I believe there are at least three basic questions we can always come back to and greatly benefit from. In my experience, every time I explore these three areas I reach new levels of understanding and conviction.

Get past that first hurdle yourself!								1) Am I passionate? What is my purpose? Do I believe in my own "mission"? Am I driven by pure desire? If I'm not, then what can I do or even adjust to reach such emotions? No passion, no change!
It takes two to tango!								2) Do I connect with others? Who among all are my key contacts and what's important to them? Does the way I interact with the people around me trigger their passion? What will it take to turn the lights on in my peers? No connection, no results!
What does your inner compass tell you?								3) What does my intuition tell me? What is the one and single most important action I could take today that would make an immediate and/or long term difference? What does my heart tell me? How can I apply my talents and my abilities to have a spreading effect? If I were to just be my best self, how would I go about making a serious difference? No intuition, no value creation!

So what?

Passion, Connection and Intuition each lead to three distinct levels of conviction. Passion leads to inner conviction. Connection leads to shared conviction and Intuition leads to discovered conviction. Here are three suggestions to how this can be applied - right now - today:

1. Increase passion by thinking
   • read inspiring literature - discover WHAT
   • then... take time to reflect and explore
   • then... take notes
   • then... make commitments and execute
2. Strengthen connection by interacting
   • spend time with inspiring people - discover WHO
   • then... take time to listen
   • then... take notes
   • then... make commitments and execute
3. Follow intuition by leaving your comfort zone
   • seek inspiring challenges and environments - discover HOW
   • then... look for opportunities
   • then... be flexible and accept the speed of the moment

And the best thing is, pick whichever area you'd like to start with. There is, however, a principle based order to these energies, as you've probably noticed: 1) ignite yourself, 2) ignite others and 3) ignite your surroundings. Try to cheat the order of this and you'll find you're up against a headwind. If you apply yourself to the process, you'll see, wind will start blowing your way.

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"Time is money"! Says who? If it's just money, then time sure isn't worth much, is it!? That kind of thinking, such a poor paradigm, will not produce the results you have it inside you to deliver.

					Time is not only money. Time is the stuff that allows you to make a difference. You will never ignite PASSION, seldom make a CONNECTION and rarely experience INTUITION unless you devote yourself to a higher purpose than what the moment calls for. Discover that purpose. Answer the WHY!

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Successful selling is about three breakthroughs that each unleash a specific type of energy. What are these energies and how do we unleash them?

When we consider the tree illustration from last week it should be easy to see that successful selling consists of three major breakthroughs (read: paradigm shifts). Every seed breaks out: from underground to fresh air from sprouting to reaching for the sky from growing up to fruit-bearing

We call them root route fruit, being respectively 1) the root structure and then 2) the route to 3) the fruit. Each one of these is most successful when going one-on-one. Root, route and fruit each deserve separate training and attention, but at this time, let's cut to the chase and extract the essence only - a summary so short it's almost impossible to explain with fewer words.

Root Our number one mission is strategic positioning, which figuratively speaking is "growing the root structure". That sounds great, but what does it mean? It means answering the WHAT questions. When we breakthrough with answers to WHAT we create context and experience inner conviction that unleashes the first energy we call Passion. Passion represents gasping for air and getting it (see bullet # 1 listed above) and maybe most of all clear and solid identity.

Route Mission leads to strategy. Our number one strategy is a network of trusting relationships, which figuratively speaking is "branching out like a tree". That sounds great, but what does it mean? It means seriously asking the WHO questions. When we breakthrough with answers to WHO we stir feelings and experience shared conviction that unleashes the second energy we call Connection. Connection represents reaching your highest potential (see bullet # 2 listed above). Potential is directly linked to your success with other people.

Fruit Strategy leads to network. Our number one way to network is consistently practicing technique and tactics, which figuratively speaking is "maturing and becoming fruitful". That sounds great, however, again what does it mean? It means working with the HOW questions. When we breakthrough with answers to HOW we identify technique and experience discovered conviction that unleashes the third energy we call Intuition. Intuition represents seeing the ultimate fruits of your effort (see bullet # 3 listed above), but more than that individual talent will surface.

A generic model for every perspective

Root, route and fruit is an allegory to explain 3E, which can be applied in every single setting. 3E is easily applied in both macro and micro perspectives, that is e.g. sales management (macro) or daily selling activities (micro). We can also apply 3E for internal or external activities. 3E also effectively enhances both organizational and personal improvement programs.

And here comes my personal highlight: After two long years we're finally ready to publish my next blogpost. Coming up next are the three scenarios that clarify the exceptional power of the methodical 3E approach to energy based selling. It will become clear what this really is all about. Yes, you may expect some of the best stuff you ever saw when it comes to sales theory!

Here's an overview of what we just covered in a simple matrix:

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Helping to ask WHY is key --ultimately the only way-- to seriously motivating people. When we help people ask WHY-questions they will inevitably be inspired to self driven action. But asking WHY can also hurt, in fact, if we're not careful WHY may be counterproductive and do a lot of damage.

The natural tendency for any parent, spouse, manager, colleague or coach is to ask WHY when something goes wrong. The "WHY did you...? approach" can be counterproductive when coming from another person in retrospect. WHY seldom rectifies the wrong when filled with blame and guilt. We drive the other person into a defensive mode. Just think about it... When we make a mistake, most of the time it's hard to explain WHY we made a bad choice, and it certainly isn't fun to elaborate on stupid mistakes. While the other person is on the defence - shutting out external influence - we tend to respond by attacking the behavior. In other words, when we sense that WHY fails we quickly move into giving advice by telling the other person WHAT he or she should have been doing.

I see people doing this all the time. Let's be clear. It doesn't work.

Lesson # 1: How we tend to fail

When someone is to blame we tend to "ask WHY and tell WHAT".

Lesson # 2: How we can succeed

To inspire others to change we should "ask WHAT and discuss WHY".

By making a fairly simple switch from the ineffective "asking WHY and telling WHAT" to the effective "asking WHAT and discussing WHY" we make a meaningful difference in the lives of others. We get rid of blaming and fighting. Instead we introduce fruitful discussion. Just try it out. You'll quickly discover the positive effect it has!

									Asking WHAT means we establish objectively the things that went wrong. Once we've agreed what went wrong, then discussing WHY will be an opportunity to appreciate new and mutual learning. Suddenly asking WHY becomes positive and has meaning. It becomes a solution to problems to prevent them from happening again. It points the way to a brighter future and instills hope - it makes passion grow - makes mission become clear. WHY is the beginning of everything!

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Take a quick time-out. I encourage you to watch three YouTube clips that exemplify the power of WHY and WHAT - how it defies the expectations of our surroundings.

Did you have the privilege of following Paul Potts in the "Britain's Got Talent" show? This man inspired millions of people with his passion for singing.

								Notice how Paul Potts clearly states his WHY... "I feel it's what I'm born to do", followed by his WHAT... "I've always wanted to sing as a career". Watch the first appearance of Paul Potts. Passion will carry you through any opposition. Passion makes you unstoppable! See what this means by watching the intro to Paul Potts' performance in the semi finale. (Click on the link to appreciate the next paragraph!) Paul Potts is a wonderful example of how talent and "the big public victory" he experienced much later was born inside many years before him being discovered. That's what passion does; fruits over time. Watch Paul Potts' performance in the grand finale. Remember, the secret behind talent is first and foremost passion!

(Here's a bonus clip if you feel like watching more of Paul Potts.)

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Said a famous philosopher: "Tell me WHY and I'll move heaven and earth to do it". WHY is the key to peak performance. Given this, you may be wondering: Is it possible to produce outstanding improvement through simple things?

									I have great news... Yes it is possible to harness dramatic change by simple means. In fact, keeping it simple is key to phenomenal improvement. Simply start by asking WHY and then listen. If you're asking yourself, listen to what thoughts come to mind. If you're asking a team member, pause and don't interrupt. Regardless, the right WHY questions will work wonders, I guarantee. As we've looked at these questions from different angles now, let's summarize the WHY, WHAT, WHO and HOW questions with a business example, just to illustrate how it can be applied in every day life:

We are about to switch to a new employer. The most effective question could be as simple as...

• WHY should I work here?

If the answers qualify for an overlap in mission and purpose, the first question you'll be looking into as a new-hire is also pretty self evident...

• WHAT is it that we offer?

Once we know our value to society or the market place, it's wise to clarify as best we can...

• WHO will care and want to collaborate?

Then, finally, the question that really brings every other question to full fruition is...

• HOW should we go about it?

Let's review each question category and look more closely at what their fruits are.

MISSION

primarily comes from asking WHY

Do you believe knowing WHY will make a difference in your job? I mean, really knowing why?! Most people, even when they leave a job in favour of another, never fully understood why they were there... and that's in fact partly why they switch to another company and/or position. When anyone comes even close to performing on the job, this someone has a serious WHY burning inside them. They're usually more loyal and stay on for a longer time. Check it out, if you will.

PASSION

primarily comes from asking WHAT

Some sales managers frequently are afraid of investing "product knowledge" in their team members, simply because they've experienced how a little knowledge easily makes sales people less inclined to being open and listen to client needs. Of course the tendency is there, but that's because they only get irregular and/or insufficient training.

It is my experience that the best sales people also know best WHAT they have to offer. If they're passionate about it, because they know WHAT they have, then that's a perfect foundation. But note this; if they're passionate and at the same time know little about the offering, it is very much likely that the sales rep is biased and you'd better be careful, both as an employer and as a client. A biased sales rep often has characterics such as dishonesty, hidden agendas, fictitious and fluctuating motivation and maybe most importantly little or no ownership to what is being delivered.

CONNECTION

primarily comes from asking WHO

So often I meet with sales people that have a fantastic product and/or service offering, but somehow they're unable to seriously produce results. On almost every occasion it's due to their not having done the simple exercise of finding out who they should be speaking with. Even when they are speaking with the right people, they know little about why the solution or offering matters to them.

INTUITION

primarily comes from asking HOW

Most sales training jumps straight into HOW, and because of that it is less effective. That's why most training, I'd even claim almost all training, only has short term results.

If, however, people also are becoming highly skilled in HOW, invariably something magical happens to them. Something inside them begins to glow. Some call it self esteem. Regardless of what it is, when skills become natural "the real person" seems to come out and uniquely influences the situation. This is when we begin to see intuition in action.

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