Intuition can be a powerful ally when applied correctly. However, sometimes intuition is mixed up with "whatever comes natural" in such a way that it hurts more than it does good. Yes, intuition is closely linked to natural response. Still, intuition is not doing what we feel like doing, rather it is doing what we know we should be doing. Let me illustrate the difference with a personal experience:

								Recently, one of my daughters really got on my nerves. You know how it is. Even the best people can sometimes just step on your toes, and not even sense it. Only, this time she stepped unawares on the toes of someone else. "My entire me" screamed for justice. I felt every reason to intervene, and I did it in such a way that I felt bad afterwards. There was this subtle misgiving in my chest saying: "You know something is wrong now. You should offer an apology and say you're sorry." My mental reply was "...but she needs to be told" and "I'm only helping her...", but that voice was still ringing in my ears.

Intuition summarized

The natural response was to intervene and solve the matter. The natural response was to argue with my conscience. The natural response was to maintain my ego. Intuition, however, kept me in the right way. I guess, intuition also might have made me intervene, but had I paused and listened, I'm sure I would have found a better way. Intuition always does! Intuition is about not moving too fast ahead, but listening as we go about our daily business.

Intuition is doing it your way, but also the right way. It's realizing that the right way can indeed be different from one person to another. It highlights you - who you are and what your are. In short, intuition is the way in which you are your best self. What a major difference intuition makes!

What's energation? Energation is the combination of energy and communication (, but also a lot more than that). Here's an experience I had with this highest level of communication just recently:

Yesterday I was part of a meeting with a lot of energy. Said one of the participants towards the end: "This has been a wonderful meeting. I've had to go to the toilet for a long time, and even now, I just don't want to leave the room".   What a great example to illustrate what energation is. There's more to such meetings than just the purpose of the meeting itself. Each time we reach energation, simply being together and experiencing the energy and communication bond with others is a reward alone. We feel heard, understood, validated and important. We've stretched and shared something personal. We open up - maybe we cried. We reach for something beyond the ordinary and trigger emotions and feelings that we experience together. We come alive and communicate the way communication should be.

Energation is life! There are three energies that make it happen: Passion - Connection - Intuition!

The past two weeks Lillian and I brought our five kids far away to a warmer climate (...we live in Norway ;-). I left my computer at home and pretty much never touched my PDA or any other technical device. I guess that's good therapy for someone like me.

Yes, we had a wonderful time, but what I wanted to share is how regardless of holidays, sunny weather, money spent, or even the illusion of "more time at hand", none of these can add to what we already and always have with us; daily one-on-one opportunities with the most important people in our lives.

In breaking with regular routines, there was at least one thing we didn't change during our holidays, and that was regular one-on-one time with each of our children. I always spend Sunday evening visiting with them, one at a time. We share anything we feel like talking about. Most of all, it's a time when they know dad will eventually look them in the eye and simply tell them how wonderful and unique they are. Nothing in the world beats that moment of eye contact, calling them by name and sincerely from the heart express: "I love you".

"One-on-one is where the gold is found..."

Equally amazing are the hours immediately following such a prized experience. I can always sense a leap in self esteem and self worth. Conflict, if there were any, is gone. The atmosphere is one of increased harmony. There is a release of unparalleled energy. In my opinion, one-on-one is the single most powerful investment I know of. That's why, even though I have these opportunities every minute of the day, I actually schedule time to create this arena at least once a week. It's just to make sure that it happens regularly. I wouldn't miss it for all the world.

Applicable in all settings

Always remember, relationships are one-on-one. That's how they really grow and sprout. When one individual interacts with another - and it doesn't have to be in a perceived "private" setting per se - this is where the gold is found. This is where we can create mutual value. This is where energy starts and where it has the best beginning.

Keep in mind this principle next time you plan your week and days: How are you going to create effective one-on-one incidents with colleagues, customers and clients, as well as anyone you know you need to build a quality relationship with? If you do, you'll also be more alert and attentive whenever you have unplanned opportunities to nurture such a moment.

The greatest mystery of influence lies in how it increases and lasts only when applied unselfishly and altruistically.   Whereas it seems that manipulation, tricks and techniques, "politics", short term power fights and corruption all pay off, the paradigm of "seeds and fruits" always provides the same answer: Everything we do backfires. The recoil may not be instant as with a gun, but what we do always comes back at us eventually.   H. David Burton recently shared a beautiful quote, which really nails it:

Fireman helping old lady, Seminole USA.

Of course, nothing "disappears" - not even what we do "for ourselves", but the things we do for others seem to give added influential powers. My long time partner and friend, Bård Stranheim, lives by a wonderful principle, which he phrases like this:

In today's business environment there seems to be an increasing belief that "graciously caring for others" is not compatible with success. Our research clearly shows the opposite; that those individuals and companies who aim for both short term and long term success need the above stated value firmly rooted in their system, otherwise they'll always fail long term and quite frequently short term, too.

Simply put, influence increases when we apply it to make the world "a better place" and decreases when what we do is centered around our own selfish interests. You may call it religious. I call it a durable principle and indisputable fact. If we apply it, then it works in our favor - if we don't it works against us. Such is the true source and nature of real influence.

With very few exceptions, successful people are 100% dependent on others for what they seek to accomplish. Unfortunately, most people still think of selling as a one-man show. Nothing could be further from the truth.

A true win is a win-win. Everybody knows that by now. "Win-win" has almost become an outdated hype - a worn out buzz word. However, successful people not only help others succeed through win-win, but they also establish a powerful connection with individuals, which has great value by itself. How do we build such relationships? (Remember, we're not talking about superficial friendships, but emotional and mutually meaningful bonding strength.)

A small but important part of succeeding with others is proactive networking. Effective networking involves five key principles. Each of them is possible to execute in simple actions as listed:

Please note how each principle has a specific action listed (as an example) that illustrates how it's possible to execute in real life.

One tool only

With today's technological tools it's easy to end up using several platforms and utilities to maintain contact details of key people. If we want to make tools effectively serve us and not the other way around, then we need to consolidate and make them work seamlessly together or eliminate those who cannot be integrated. With contact details in more than one place we allow technology to set limits to how many people we can reach, especially long term.

Care about all

Always remember that key people are mostly found in surprising positions. Top executives are important through the role they fill, but we've found that they're seldom the most valuable contacts long term; when they lose their position they sometimes completely lose their "value" - at least through the eyes of a cynic.

Always remember that our basic perception of people shines through no matter what we say or do. If we truly care about people because people have value in themselves, then that's the energy and message that radiates from us. That's what our surroundings pick up and sense. We simply need to be authentic in caring about others and the world will return the favor when we most need it. We care, not because it pays off to care, but because everyone around us has equal value as individuals. (That's something cynical power fighters don't understand, maybe because they never really cared in the first place.)

Law of reciprocity

...means "what we do comes back to us". Notice that the action linked to this principle is "create value by connecting people and specifying opportunities that they share". You'll find that once you connect people, two causal effects often hit in:

1. You'll quickly become part of the potential business
2. People will return the favor and identify possibilities you yourself did not see

One-on-One

Few understand how complex human interaction really is. If you want to connect with people, one of the most basic principles to live by is to stay personal. Friendships are personal, they are what one person shares with another. If you include others, you'll increase the energy of the social setting, but you dilute the opportunity to exchange personal emotions and feelings. Of course we need both settings, but when it comes to connecting with others, one-on-one is by far the most significant arena.

Always available

Being dependable is being there when someone needs you. Frequently, human need will vanish as quickly as the need arises. This means, someone might need information at an instant, immediate advice or a supporting shoulder for which reason they contact you. If you're available, you become the solution - a valuable individual in their life, there and then. If you're unavailable, because the need is instant and "overwhelming", they will call on someone else. Being unavailable quickly becomes lost opportunities, that others pick up simply because they were approachable instead of you.

These five principles, coupled with "the actions that belong to them" are only but a fraction of what connection is all about. However, they are the essence of an effective networker. Do remember - networking is not down to technique; networking is about being sincere, loyal and a believer in "the good stuff" that's inside each of us... In one word, building TRUST!

If you want to effectively influence others three key elements summarize all you need.

Let's say you want to manage a project with a high return on investment. What if you need to gain a lot of followers politically. Maybe your desire is to be an influential spouse or parent, friend or member of society. In short, to achieve any kind of success, you'll need three specific deliverables:

Beginning from the bottom and moving upwards:

• First and foremost, we need power coming from the inside to become unstoppable. (cf The RED heart)

• Second, we need to foster an environment where others succeed when we do. (cf The BLUE battery)

• Third, we need to open our minds to adopt success behavior - meaning we put away old unproductive patterns and replace them with proven skills. (cf The GREEN bolt of lightning)

This time, let's consider what it means to become unstoppable.

Passion is immortal...

Some people may think that to be a real stayer you need to be physically or mentally strong - and more than anything - the owner of a powerful self confidence. Our experience indicates that this is not necessarily the case. While it's useful to be strong, and while self worth helps to guide our choices and direction, this is not what makes someone seriously and insurmountably tough or invincible. What in fact is needed is neither strength nor a positive self image, neither great talent nor strong will. The real deciding factor is simply "passion" (symbolized by a red heart). Once passion has taken hold of you, all that is required is a careful feeding of "constant fuel on the fire". Only microscopic quantities are required to keep passion burning and alive once it's there. (What that fuel is becomes a completely different matter.) Regardless, whether the driving force is a good or a bad one (e.g. love and compassion or revenge and honor), passion is such a conclusive force in the life of every human that even on its own passion can outnumber any group, outsmart any opponent, overcome any type of force and more than anything, it can indeed outlast and conquer all enemies with time as its most effective ally and friend. Passion is simply unstoppable – it cannot be defeated unless you "kill it". And even then, it tends to outlive its possessor through the succeeding generations affected by it.

Passion is yours...

Passion can only be dimmed by its owner; your passion is yours - my passion is mine. That's the essence of passion. It belongs to each of us just like free will. It's personal and completely individual. It simply cannot be taken away from you once you have it. We can decide whether or not we will stay passionate or not. That's the nature of passion. If I "decide" to be passionate about something, no one will ever be in the position to rob me of it, steal it, let alone have any influence over it, whatsoever, unless I give my consent. Passion is our heart.

Passion can be destructive or a power for good...

Herein lies both the blessing and the threat of passion. Some people use passion to accomplish great things, while others apply the same power to pursue hurtful or even dangerous, habitual and harmful appetites, either to themselves or also to others.

In passion on a stand-alone basis there's an element of sheer madness. It contains that wild and enthusiastic obsession that can spread to others. It's scary and alarming, it's contagious – even charismatic and convincing. Passion can be equal to extreme, in the real meaning of the word. Passion on its own behaves more or less without logic. It may even appear to be without fear or pain in warm favor of a naive cause to which one is completely dedicated. While passion can have the outward expression of emotional and wholehearted love, it can also be the intoxicating addiction of a fanatic, lacking any kind of empathy or feeling for others.

Passion is only the beginning...

This sensation of one sided and blinded excessive zeal has both the capacity to a) work enormously grand results or b) to destroy and leave stains never to be erased from human history. Such is the mark of passion. Quite overwhelmingly so, when found in a person it always will "blot the carpet of life", and usually many lives, too. It not only can make a difference, it will and always has a huge impact on society! It's the beginning of influence.

That's the power of passion - the first step of real influence. Want to know how to get passion..?

So your team has everything and they're working hard, but they're still not making their budgets. What's wrong? We can blame everything, but when everything is said and done, there's only one thing that's ultimately the reason why performance is suffering. Do you want to know what that one thing is?

Any company with a growing salesforce will at some point invest in doing more than just putting in hard labor to get results.

Hence, there's a wide array of companies today offering "the solution" to how success can be repeated through a system or model based on empirical research. In short, they offer to bridge the gap between sales effort and missing results.

Some examples of the best sales expertise offered in the market place today are found among the following:

I've worked with several of these models and systems, and you know what..? Regardless of system or model, there's always a fair sized group of people that try, but fail. In fact, the majority never makes it to excellence! They may improve, but they never become truly successful.

Flaw # 1

Every one of the above listed offerings has been developed and discovered over time. They can document success formulas, meaning if you apply the methods and techniques (read: 'behavior') statistically you'll be successful. There's the flaw! Statistics are big numbers, highlighting relevant and significant outcomes based on what we put in. A successful outcome is usually the case, but not without a few exceptions. (I'm strongly in favor of research, but this in an important fact to remember.)

Flaw # 2

The other important reason why models and systems cannot guarantee success is (partly correlated to the above reason) because there are a lot of variables that pure observation never registers. This is why data and research always needs comments and explanations thereby including the stuff that may have been observed, but isn't reflected in the numbers.

Energy is the Missing Link

This past week I've again helped several companies with existing systems "just make selling work", and maybe by now you're wondering how we're doing this ;-)

Well, here's the answer: What we do is add energy to the equation (as mentioned above: Effort + Model = Results) - three types of energy at each critical stage as illustrated here:

The energy to boost effort is Passion. The energy to apply the model and make it work is Connection. The energy to become skillful and harvest results is Intuition.

Adoption - Do it!

The purpose of energy is to get adoption. The salesforce needs to simply do it. A lot of systems are taught, but the paramount reason why people fail is because they're not applying what they've learned. To get results we need adoption. If adoption never takes place, then it's irrelevant how good your system or model is.

Forcing yourself to just "do it" through sheer willpower is hard. In fact, it's not only hard - it's impossible. We see this all the time: Success is only for those with energy; Passion - Connection - Intuition. Only then will we do what it takes.

Once sales people have energy (e.g. "serious motivation") doing it becomes not only easy, it becomes what we want to do - what we like to do - what we do best. This is where a lifestyle and dedicated priority is found. Our task becomes our mission and receives our complete attention and focus. Then success is no longer something we hope for, but a predictable outcome we may expect.

Models and systems come about because they seek to duplicate success behavior, but the most important ingredient of successful people is in fact not their behavior. The key to success is the energy behind what successful people do and which is what gives them the power. Then, and only then, has behavior meaning and the desired effect.

(Read more about how to get energy.)

Did you ever witness a passionate person in action? Passion tends to automatically reveal someone's true and unique personality. In fact, it's so powerful, we almost need not worry about differentiation at all if only we're passionate about what we do. Passion also brings out the best in us, sometimes "lubricating" weaknesses and shortcomings we may normally be suffering from.

Instead of only circling around "how we get passion", this time I'd like to also emphasize the need for balance in communication:

You see, passion is only the beginning! Not only is it but a fraction of success... passion alone may even be destructive if not balanced well. Just think about it: Passion is mainly geared towards "sending out energy". Balance is about also "receiving energy" or being susceptible to it. In short, both giving and receiving. Therefore, there are two more -- cardinal -- energies that make passion work as it should. The 3 Energies are Passion - Connection - Intuition!

The switch that triggers energy

Passion involves reflection: Did you ever make a private and personal discovery that had such a powerful effect on you that it became physically visible?

Connection involves interaction: Did you ever have a conversation with someone you really connected with? What happened to your level of excitement?

Intuition involves innovation: Did you ever have this "mysterious" experience of collaborating with others in such a way that it almost felt like revelation? How did this affect your feelings and dedication?

Why limit ourselves to only utilizing one of these energies when all three are constantly available AND more powerful when combined in one?!

These three combined are what exceptional communication is all about. If you'd like to learn more about them you can turn to a brief webcast about 3E or to the 3E glossary now available on our pages.

During the summer holidays I put together a quick survey on how we feel about sales people approaching us when selling a product or service. In one week only the survey had 52 respondents, and replies just keep coming in. The data retrieved and the information it provides is interesting, especially if we consider the negative side:

When asked how we feel when a sales person tries to sell us something, here's what we respond statistically:

In addition to this, of all respondents 11,4% explicitly stated they NEVER had a positive experience with ANY sales person trying to sell them something.

This means that when we approach someone about our product or service, 1 out of 10 has a 100% negative history with ALL previous sales people they've ever encountered. At least that's how they perceive it. To make it worse, 46%, i.e. pretty much every other potential customer, feels bad (and of those 1 of 5 "worse than bad") about you contacting them in the first place.

When asked to comment on simple questions about selling activity one overall answer and attitude or dominant "ground rule" clearly comes through: "I know what I need, and I'll go get it when I want it. I strongly dislike people contacting me about something I don't need".

What basic learning can we extract from empirical results such as these?

Actually, quite a few important principles surface more or less instantly. However, three of them I'd like to specifically point out, since they're core to everything else.

Successful (sales) people work on their:

1. POSITIONING - Operational dialog
   • helping others seek them out and come to them for help and problemsolving.
2. RELATIONSHIPS - Opinional dialog
   • helping others feel good about them as a person.
3. TACTICS - Optimal dialog
   • helping people take the lead and feel good about the message.

In sum these three make up what we call the SBP = SPP equation.

Here's a webcast about the 3 dialogs, explaining what this is all about.

Why make success complicated? Although any success is clearly demanding and challenging in itself, our research reveals what it takes to be successful!   Success and the key to persuasive talent is found in 3 Energies:

In short, success is any individual "unstoppable in succeeding skillfully with others by applying Passion , Connection and Intuition". That's it! Everything else is an extension to further explain what success means and how it is achieved.

These 3 Energies are 3E. It's -- Passion, Connection and Intuition -- that makes the difference. They're capitalized because to us (and everyone) these 3 energies are what makes or breaks success - in every aspect of our lives; family, personal, work, society... as well as every dimension; physical, social / emotional, spiritual and mental. It's what makes everyone, but more specifically, a sales person complete in his profession.