If you want to influence others - follow these four steps for taking notes and you'll quickly discover an improved flow in communication, mutual understanding and increased power to be persuasive:

(1) Divide Paper in Four

First, before taking notes divide your paper in four areas by drawing a big cross (as explained in my previous blog post). Above the line (the red area), write down keywords for everything that is negative. Below the line (the green area), keep score of every positive statement and explanation.

(2) Differentiate Between Positive and Negative

When you ask the right questions, you'll find that problems (the top red area) are sometimes indirect, i.e. they are connected to or a result of other problems. Make sure to distinguish between the two. The same goes for solution oriented positive statements. Consider this example:

PROBLEM: "My computer crashes on me..." (direct) "...I lose important data" (indirect)

SOLUTION: "...a laptop that never crashes"! (direct) "...keeps my data safe" (indirect)

(3) Balance the Feedback

Persuasion is found in knowing both what bugs people and how they'd like to fix it. Top sales performers spot the difference and always make sure there's a balance between "red" and "green". If the client only provides problems in the "red area", we pull out - through questioning - the flip side of those same problems; the solutions in the "green area". Vice versa, if clients only give us wish lists, then we dig for the problem(s) behind their expressed desires.

(4) Stick to Your Notes When Presenting

Once the other person has clearly and fully explained what's wrong and how he or she would like to resolve the matter, then we present our offering tailored strictly to the bullet points we've written down.

That's an effective way to take notes in a sales meeting - and apply them both in the meeting and for future reference!

When we're taking notes during interaction with a customer or partner, mostly what's being written is downright useless. As a result, notes are rarely used for future reference or stored for long. What does it take to make notes from a sales meeting serve their purpose, and what is that purpose anyway?

The purpose of taking notes can be summarized by asking three key questions. How can we apply notes taking to:

• BE EFFECTIVE
  ...make sure we both listen (live in the present) and write (store for the future)?

• IDENTIFY WIN-WIN
  ...stay focused by gleaning out and visualizing the purpose of the information exchange?

• CENTER AROUND ACTIONS
  ...make sure the interaction results in execution around shared objectives?

Taking notes must remain simple and easy for it to have the power to influence. Here's what you do: Draw a big cross in the center of your page. That leaves you with four basic fields of information - key words only.

Ask yourself: What's the ideal information you put into a CRM system following a sales call? Simply put, it's the information you're left with on your paper with this structure.

If you stick to doing it this way - always - 80% of your purpose has been achieved. The remaining 20% becomes your header and footer. On top you add the date and individuals you spoke with, including data you believe is critical to otherwise remember. Down below you specify every action point you agree on, including a deadline for each one.

Why taking notes this ways works I'll leave for my next blog post to elaborate on ;-)

Taking notes is not a common habit or lifestyle. Taking notes is in fact rarely seen spontaneously among people being trained or even while sitting in meetings. That's very unfortunate - for them - for those sharing their intelligence and energy - maybe even mostly for those not present. Why? ...and what happens when people take notes?

Taking notes is one of many forms of interactive rhythm. Let's just briefly consider three elements of "notes taking" as a subject, and then our own contemplation may help us discover more than what this short post can contain:

(1) Taking notes to improve dialog

When people take notes you can quickly spot a difference in attentiveness and concentration, openness and sharing, innovation and creativity, participation and dialog, involvement and ownership, ability to learn and apply and many other traits crucial to interaction that will lead to change and results.

(2) Taking notes the right way

Learning how to take notes is therefore a major competency few are aware of or ever learn. We take different kinds of notes in different kinds of settings. (My next post will be about taking notes in a sales meeting.). When taking notes is done well, the value increases dramatically and we feel a strong desire to keep them safe from harms way or loss.

(3) Taking notes to extend memory and feelings

Taking care of notes is important for safekeeping of new learning, discoveries*, commitments and maybe most important - the feelings and emotions we have. When was the last time you wrote down what you felt or what impressions you had besides what was actually being said e.g. in a meeting? Can you imagine why that would be important?

Good notes taking extends our memory. Strictly personal notes and the more profound "lessons of life" - I think - should be kept in a journal. Individuals who actively write and keep a journal appear to be more mature. Maybe it is because it leads to a kind of constant therapeutic exercise and self evaluation that's healthy for all of us. It increases self awareness.

So many times we make the greatest discoveries while we venture to write down in words what we just discovered. Spot the pattern of your notes during the past year. Where are they? Do you browse through them sometimes? Are they in a safe place? Will they be available in 5 or 10 years?

(4) Taking notes to influence others

The habit and principle of taking notes will enhance your lifestyle in ways you cannot understand until you actually start doing it. It's interactive rhythm and will - over time - add to your ability to be more persuasive, yes, even charismatic! Without further ado or elaboration, I am today who and what I am, very much because of the notes my closest peers took while I was not there. Consider what your notes may some day do for someone else.

I encourage you to a) carry a notepad with you, b) think through what and how you will write and then c) work on the habit of constantly doing it. Take notes!

* Ideas and discoveries disappear usually as quickly as they appear. Having a notebook handy always is as valuable as the impressions you may want to retain.

O®O is powerful and practical. To illustrate what the 3E dialogs are about, I've put together a number of samples. This first sample is "Finding Rhythm":

1st dialog: Operational

Suppose you've been feeling guilty for not getting regular exercise. At some point you decide to pull yourself together and get back into it. The moment that feeling drives you to actually start running, swimming, biking, walking or other type of concrete action, the first dialog that's been going on for a while becomes visible.

		(Energy triggered from Operational dialog: PASSION)

2nd dialog: Opinional

Once we recommit to regular exercise we may decide to share it with friends that are supportive. This sharing with others leaves you vulnerable as they are getting to know something about your personal struggles. It may feel risky, but it helps you stay on course.

Many of us muster strength to begin something great, but few of us turn good intentions into a lifestyle. One significant way to reach higher commitment is by including other people in our quest. A friend, spouse or colleague may be of great help when you decide to make radical change - even though it may seem very small or insignificant. It is when we commit to another, a group or to the public in general that we find strength beyond our own. Too few of us make use of this!

		(Energy triggered from Opinional dialog: CONNECTION)

3rd dialog: Optimal

Even help and support from others is not enough! When reality hits in, when you're gasping for air, when you're body hurts and when strength is gone most of us simply quit. Maybe not instantly, but over time, let's face it, we give up. Is regular exercise a lifestyle or does it tend to "come and go"? If it's no lifestyle, but rather a haphazard project, then you're not seriously tapping into the third dialog which could be e.g. "finding rythm".

Every successful individual has reached the stage where a distinct pattern reveals itself - over time. It's a kind of rhythm. When you run, you find that running in sync with your breathing helps. That's what we might call a "micro rhythm". A macro rhythm would be your running every day, every other day or even just once a week. Rhythm can be a lot of different things. Most fascinating of all, rhythm is only truly understood by those who keep pressing on. It can indeed be challenging to explain rhythm within a particular field of expertise to an outsider simply because some of it will remain concealed until the two first dialogs are in place!

		(Energy triggered from Optimal dialog: INTUITION)

Each stage is a dialog - internal and external. These dialogs apply to EVERY aspect of life, but in this setting we especially have the perspective and interest of helping sales people improve performance. Staying in physical shape is but an example of principles that apply everywhere.

Each dialog revisited

Once you've been through each dialog, a continuing spiral comes into effect, leading you to revisit each dialog at a consistent basis, but every time in a more profound way:

1. (Revisiting Operational) e.g. building a culture or tradition - pass it on to others
2. (Revisiting Opinional) e.g. becoming inspiring and an example to others
3. (Revisiting Optimal) e.g. innovating new ways to improve

So I'm sometimes asked: "What are the benefits of 3E?"

(The 3 Energies Behind Sales Success)

In stead of giving the so-called full version, every so often I challenge them by declaring: "Once you've grasped the basic consept of 3E:

• you'll never read another book on communication or success the same way again.

• you'll never again be subject to receiving training without understanding the big picture. Now you'll be able to extract the essence and get seriously good results.

• as a manager you'll never lead again without knowing what needs to be addressed and how it should be done.

• as a coach or instructor you'll know better how to educate effectively and continually improve yourself as a coach from that point onwards."

These are just four examples I quickly mention. Of course the response is: "How come, then..? What is it that 3E does for me?"

...and here's the answer to what 3E does: At any given moment there are always three conversations running at the same time. It's kind of like a radio; in stead of only tuning in on one wavelength at a time, you'll now receive messages from three different channels simultaneously. Three frequencies at the same time could be confusing, but not if you had the ability to "listen" to the first channel, gently "observe" the second channel and let's say "taste or smell" the third channel.

We're suggesting that once you're able to see and perceive the three dialogs, you'll also be able to feel and observe the persuasive energy that's flowing from these three types of conversations. (It may sound strange to use the word "energy", but that's the best term we found for it.) Once you understand and recognize the dialogs and energies you'll be able to speak all three "languages". When you do, you'll immediately begin to influence - on three levels - what really matters in order to convince the people you desperately need to reach. What are these three levels?

1. What both parties perceive about your POSITION
2. Who you TRUST and who they TRUST
3. How WORDS and SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES run in sync with position and trust...

...to become truly persuasive.

Of course "these three in one" is a major subject or undertaking, but that's what this blog is all about, as well as the book itself, The 3 Energies Behind Sales Success. We've been at it for 8 years, now. Suffice it to say at this point, each of the three areas above represent "the end in mind". They are not something you just do, but rather the end result of doing everything the right way. THAT'S what 3E does!

Influence is energy.   Influence is getting in early.   Influence is passing on enthusiasm.   Influence is remembering and being remembered.   Influence is passing on a legacy that inspires others to follow.

Influence is helping others discover both who they are and what they are able to do.

Influence is not persuasion, but rather the ability to trigger a desire to be persuaded by being included in self talk.

Influence is the art of wanting to help, but knowing help can mostly not be given - want to teach, but knowing education is mostly not ours to give.

Influence is changing the world of another person in such a way that actions follow, empowering them to have greater control over their lives.

Influence is stirring up thoughts, feelings and emotions causing either spontaneous reactions or carefully considered alternative courses of action.

Influence is being instrumental in the way someone perceives the world, leaving them more determined and motivated to execute around clearer paradigms and goals.

Influence is you. You just didn't know how much influence you have and can have.

			-- Rings of mutual commitment --						If we leave out "all else", what is selling about? If selling comes down to only one thing, what is it that remains as the single most important element?   Asking this question is a healthy exercise in that we become aware of what it is we're really trying to accomplish. A lot of different answers might come up; the essence of selling is... "problem solving, asking questions, satisfying needs, perseverance, process..." All these are good, but these and many more are still only secondary.

One way to make the paramount and ultimate focus stand out clearly could be by asking: What is the purpose of selling? Why are we doing what we do? The purpose of selling and the heart of the matter in one word is COMMITMENT. To be precise; reaching a mutually desired and binding commitment.

Thus, sales training should, if done well, ultimately only focus on how this objective can be achieved. Usually I'm quite flexible when it comes to discussing whatever there is to learn, but in this area I'm confident and fixed. Sales models, strategies, skills and all else - at the end of the day - are only tools and procedures to help build the commitment. (Notice I did not say "get the commitment". A commitment is an experience, a feeling, a determination and a risk that we share.)

That's why it's so important to understand that the most solid commitments are "mutual and emotional". The only path to such commitments is through shared feelings. Shared feelings are an exchange of energy. Here's yet another reason why the realization of how influence is energy is so crucial!

If you want to influence others - either way - energy is where it's at! By default, most of us instantly think of energy as something good and positive. I admit, I also easily perceive it that way. However, energy can in fact be either positive or negative. What happens when we pass on negative energy?

First of all, very few people actually communicate with energy. The majority of us simply don't put forth the effort, which means there's little or no passion present in the first place. Then, when we do apply passion, too often it's the negative kind.

			< Positive Vibes       Negative Vibes >

Of course, even though we may not believe it, negative energy breeds negative results - always! Did you ever try to bring about positive change with negative energy? Of course you have. We all have missed the mark this way. (Trying to "fix" someone or something short term with negative energy only causes greater damage long term. Energy always returns back to us, both the positive as well as the negative.)

To apply passion by way of positive energy requires serious and conscious effort, mostly because it's not natural to do so. In the continuum above, most of us spend our time and strength on the negative side. To get more positive results, make the switch by replacing negative energy with positive energy. In stead of being grumpy, start smiling. When you feel like criticizing, pay a sincere compliment. It's the beginning of becoming truly influential.

If you want to influence others, here's how basic influence is. Make sure you always:

1. believe in what you do - PASSION
2. establish strong relationships - CONNECTION
3. learn and grow in talent, but apply it your way - INTUITION

I believe each of these three categories is worth a lifetime of study, but they remain the essence of influence. It's the essence of selling; basic sales. They are "The 3 Energies Behind Sales Success". The ultimate summary on sales!

YouTube presentation about these three energies.

Intuition is the ability to act without reasoning AND harvest a successful, sometimes predictable, outcome. Intuition is knowing how to act without necessarily being able to explain why. Intuition can be the tiniest inkling, but at the same time a powerful urge, and when suppressed it will leave you feeling imbalanced and out of place. Intuition is natural talent and can almost have similar characteristics as that of a reflex. Intuition is the principle of personal power in that it belongs to you, being almost like a protective force as well as giving you an edge on your surroundings. Fight intuition and you'll lose. Nurture intuition and you'll grow, you'll learn and above all you'll be victorious.

Is intuition a mystery? Sure it is. But, however mystical it might be, it still remains a fact. There are a lot of things that are hard to explain, but we still know they are real. Intuition is real. You're asking: How do you know, Vidar? Well, I've "tasted" it. I've acted on it, and I've taught others to do so, and do you know what I've found..? Intuition never fails. It's like an inner compass that points out the way and energizes everything we do.

Why is intuition important?

I always emphasize intuition during training sessions. One important reason for this is because intuition frees up talent. Each one of us does things differently. Sales models often specify behavior too much. If a sales model is not focused around generic principles it tends to limit a persons freedom to employ talent - which all of us have in abundance. By focusing on principles, individuals can apply them whichever way they want.

But even in this, intuition is not completely defined. Intuition has the amazing capacity to instantly and without warning also help us discover new principles - while on the go. And beat this; intuition especially uncovers those specific principles YOU have a unique gift to wield in battle. Any one particular "style" may be almost impossible for one person to adopt, but might beautifully fit another, almost like the size of a shoe. This fit usually takes place when two conditions are first in place:

• When we learn what needs to be learned about basics
• When we make a special effort to succeed - we move through frustration and exert ourselves beyond our comfort zone

My advice: Learn from others, but apply that same learning your way! Your inner compass will tell you how.