Take a quick time-out. I encourage you to watch three YouTube clips that exemplify the power of WHY and WHAT - how it defies the expectations of our surroundings.

Did you have the privilege of following Paul Potts in the "Britain's Got Talent" show? This man inspired millions of people with his passion for singing.

								Notice how Paul Potts clearly states his WHY... "I feel it's what I'm born to do", followed by his WHAT... "I've always wanted to sing as a career". Watch the first appearance of Paul Potts. Passion will carry you through any opposition. Passion makes you unstoppable! See what this means by watching the intro to Paul Potts' performance in the semi finale. (Click on the link to appreciate the next paragraph!) Paul Potts is a wonderful example of how talent and "the big public victory" he experienced much later was born inside many years before him being discovered. That's what passion does; fruits over time. Watch Paul Potts' performance in the grand finale. Remember, the secret behind talent is first and foremost passion!

(Here's a bonus clip if you feel like watching more of Paul Potts.)

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Said a famous philosopher: "Tell me WHY and I'll move heaven and earth to do it". WHY is the key to peak performance. Given this, you may be wondering: Is it possible to produce outstanding improvement through simple things?

									I have great news... Yes it is possible to harness dramatic change by simple means. In fact, keeping it simple is key to phenomenal improvement. Simply start by asking WHY and then listen. If you're asking yourself, listen to what thoughts come to mind. If you're asking a team member, pause and don't interrupt. Regardless, the right WHY questions will work wonders, I guarantee. As we've looked at these questions from different angles now, let's summarize the WHY, WHAT, WHO and HOW questions with a business example, just to illustrate how it can be applied in every day life:

We are about to switch to a new employer. The most effective question could be as simple as...

• WHY should I work here?

If the answers qualify for an overlap in mission and purpose, the first question you'll be looking into as a new-hire is also pretty self evident...

• WHAT is it that we offer?

Once we know our value to society or the market place, it's wise to clarify as best we can...

• WHO will care and want to collaborate?

Then, finally, the question that really brings every other question to full fruition is...

• HOW should we go about it?

Let's review each question category and look more closely at what their fruits are.

MISSION

primarily comes from asking WHY

Do you believe knowing WHY will make a difference in your job? I mean, really knowing why?! Most people, even when they leave a job in favour of another, never fully understood why they were there... and that's in fact partly why they switch to another company and/or position. When anyone comes even close to performing on the job, this someone has a serious WHY burning inside them. They're usually more loyal and stay on for a longer time. Check it out, if you will.

PASSION

primarily comes from asking WHAT

Some sales managers frequently are afraid of investing "product knowledge" in their team members, simply because they've experienced how a little knowledge easily makes sales people less inclined to being open and listen to client needs. Of course the tendency is there, but that's because they only get irregular and/or insufficient training.

It is my experience that the best sales people also know best WHAT they have to offer. If they're passionate about it, because they know WHAT they have, then that's a perfect foundation. But note this; if they're passionate and at the same time know little about the offering, it is very much likely that the sales rep is biased and you'd better be careful, both as an employer and as a client. A biased sales rep often has characterics such as dishonesty, hidden agendas, fictitious and fluctuating motivation and maybe most importantly little or no ownership to what is being delivered.

CONNECTION

primarily comes from asking WHO

So often I meet with sales people that have a fantastic product and/or service offering, but somehow they're unable to seriously produce results. On almost every occasion it's due to their not having done the simple exercise of finding out who they should be speaking with. Even when they are speaking with the right people, they know little about why the solution or offering matters to them.

INTUITION

primarily comes from asking HOW

Most sales training jumps straight into HOW, and because of that it is less effective. That's why most training, I'd even claim almost all training, only has short term results.

If, however, people also are becoming highly skilled in HOW, invariably something magical happens to them. Something inside them begins to glow. Some call it self esteem. Regardless of what it is, when skills become natural "the real person" seems to come out and uniquely influences the situation. This is when we begin to see intuition in action.

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If you want excellence you need to start in the right place and then follow through. This text answers where to start. When you apply the principles described here and in other related blog posts, you'll find that current problems transform into stepping stones, and that the battle for success wasn't really where you originally thought it was.

There are two kinds of WHY questions. If you want to be successful, you not only need to ask WHY, but also the right kind of WHY. Should you ask WHY the wrong way your efforts will work against you and become counterproductive. Let's take a closer look at all this...

We've already pointed out how success might not be what you think it is. For instance, success is mostly quality, not quantity.

We've also clarified how most people tend to ask WHAT instead of first searching and scrutinizing WHY. Skipping straight to WHAT leads to a misplaced focus on having rather than becoming.

		Cerebellum, the "little brain", highlighted in blue down below								With this in mind it's time to address what those "right WHY questions" really are. In my last blogpost it was suggested that WHY can trigger the powers of the subconscious mind. For a moment let's take a factual scientific approach: When answers to WHY is gradually becoming clear to someone, i.e. a person begins to define purpose and belief systems, the subconscious mind will become a team player to support those beliefs. More specifically, it will feed the "little brain" or the human cerebellum with positive signals, it being responsible for posture and every type of movement - movement of every single muscle in the entire body. (Can you see how all of this is about energy?)

Every one of us is a public display of deep belief systems, and we cannot help it. Those are the facts.

Why the right WHY is crucial

Now, consider this: There are proactive and reactive WHY questions. Some WHY's seem to activate us positively while others tend to passify and depress. We're talking about positive and negative energy - how some activities seem to energize us through healthy reflection while others slow down or dull our momentum.

For instance, putting it bluntly, when someone we love dies, asking "WHY did this have to happen?" is likely to drive you into self pity and depression. A WHY of this kind is of course tempting to linger on, but it is of little help and to no avail.

A better approach might be to ask "WHY am I still alive"? Can you see how immediately this question brings us back to purpose? Can you see how it will make us search out positive meaning? Can you see how it will trigger subconscious activity that soon will inspire you back on your feet and running?

Of course, WHY is a process. In fact, WHY questions belong to the time-outs of life. Are you good at taking regular breaks to reflect on deeper questions? If you are, you'll find that it serves you well. Decide NOW to pull back for at least a few minutes once a day - slow down. It's the beginning of greatness.

Great things are emotional

If we have even just a tiny bit of ambition, what Brian Tracy calls "the belief that I can do better", then we'll strive to accomplish and somehow do "great things".

The conscious mind strives to do "great things". However, the conscious mind is logical and slow, seeking to logically work success. Remember, success is mostly emotional. But emotional results, the great things, are not controlled nor influenced mainly by the conscious mind. Emotions belong to the irrational and psycho--logical-- subconscious mind. The great things the conscious mind seeks to logically accomplish are emotionally accomplished by the subconscious. And what is it that trigger the emotions from the subconscious mind? It's so simple, it's almost scary: When you start the process of asking WHY - WHY in the right way. If there is such a thing as great things, then at least they are emotional.

"We can do no great things, only small things with great love." (Mother Teresa)

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Most professionals seem to know that effective selling basically is about asking questions. If that's the case, then why don't sales trainers apply the same principle? It's because somehow they believe they can teach excellence. They see training as "putting in" all the great things they know. But teaching and training isn't something we put into others, rather it's pulling out what's already inside them.

I've seen it many times. Leaps of dramatic improvement in people only comes from one side; the inside! And when from the inside it can be instantaneous, surprising and uncontrolling. It's a paradigm shift - sometimes almost like an explosion.

Quite frankly, most of the sales trainers and managers I've been involved with believe their people need to learn from them. They may say they believe in inside-out, but really they don't, because their behavior implies otherwise. They tend to "tell and preach" as opposed to "ask and draw forth". I call this breed of so-called trainers "trapped experts".

As a result, trapped experts seldom experience staggering and life changing improvements in the people around them. They never quite make the discovery of how people indeed are great in the first place. The mission of a teacher or trainer is to bring out the greatness in others through igniting them with passion. Ironically, trapped experts stay at it, almost as if they're unknowingly caged in "a training prison".

The training prison

Trapped sales experts believe they're on the outside, trying to get in and help those poor sales people break out of prison. What they don't know is that in reality they are themselves imprisoned, unconsciously fighting to keep everybody else behind bars. The key to unlocking the prison is two-fold:

1. Trust and faith in the amazing abilities of every individual
2. Patient and effective interaction through questioning to help individuals discover themselves, grow and come alive

Igniting passion

So how do we bring individuals and teams out of the sales prison, or for that matter, how do we break out of it ourselves?

The main reason for the training defect is of course that trapped experts never broke out of their own prison to begin with. It simply is impossible to lift others beyond our own level or degree of freedom and passion.

I frequently share my own "Golf or Die" example to illustrate how powerful "breaking out of the sales prison" can be:

Personally I don't care much for golf. Many of my friends and contacts, however, love the game. In fact, a lot of them have a deep passion for golf. It's always interesting to see what happens when I, and sometimes on purpose, tell them I don't enjoy the game. It also helps to further emphasize how I feel golf is indeed a complete waste of time.

The response is always immediate and the same: First, energy surges from inside. It swells and grows until they become unstoppable. Then they spill their guts and personal emotions about why they're converted to the most fascinating and enriching experience on the planet. At this stage, there's no need to remind them that they hate selling or any of the sort. Selling "golf" is natural and fulfills a need in itself. Also, any objection from me only fires them up even more. They've transformed - within minutes - into the most brilliant, persuasive, almost charismatic personality and character in the room. Now, change the subject, and they're quickly back to what we ironically call "normal". What a waste!

Tapping into the subconscious mind

Can you imagine what each one of us has on the inside? I believe only few, if any, of us can. There's an amazing power in how passion awakens the subconscious mind. The ratio of the conscious versus the subconscious mind is appx 1 to 70,000,000. Just think about it! Passion actually triggers a change that aspires to being equal to 70 million times your "normal" capacity. It sounds crazy.

We're mostly limited by our own mind. This limitation can be gradually overcome by "reaching out". Asking questions is a way of reaching out, and in reaching out we inspire others. We invite them to come out of their shell. However, at the same time, in the process of asking questions and "seeking for answers" we open ourselves up to reflection. Reflection is equal to "becoming" and venturing on the path of realising and discovering our own potential.

So in summary, the best way to start the process of breaking out of prison is by asking WHY-questions. When we start asking WHY, then we begin to reflect on purpose and meaning. It stretches us and makes us tap into the powers of the subconscious mind. How? Stay tuned for the next post ;-)

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If you ever had the ambition of becoming an expert in sales or any area of persuasive communication you will need to help your team or organization address the most basic questions.

...and most of all, you need to ask these questions yourself.

The questions you need to ask yourself as well as instill in others are WHY, WHAT, WHO and HOW - and in that order. They in turn, give us the structure of the entire subject of sales or selling activity. No more do you need to look for a complete overview of what selling is all about.

So you're a manager and some team members are not performing equal to their potential. What do you do?

I will tell you right up front. The root cause of poor performance is the unanswered WHY. Every individual who is not running at "max speed" is somehow struggling with the WHY. We see this everywhere! Here's an example to illustrate:

In one of the world's largest and most successful companies I was recently asked to turn around a sales team of 26 Account Managers from poor to peak performance. One young man clearly stood out. In spite of his being inexperienced and new on the job his performance was out of the ordinary.

During our coaching session I asked him: "Why are you here"? It was as I expected. Unlike any of the others, as soon as we tapped into WHY, he could hardly stop talking. He knew! He told me about his desire to learn how to sell, about his failures in the past, about his feeling frustrated about his life and about how he wanted to make a serious change. Most of all, he wanted to be reunited with his family.

The sum of all these WHY's gave him the reasons he needed to perform on the job. They drove him to performance. Nobody had to push him. He was pulling himself.

When we know WHY our entire being shifts from "content" to what I like to call "desperate dissatisfaction". Reflecting on WHY helps us realise a number of important dissatisfactions, all of which can be grouped into three areas:

1. Distrusted - WHAT
2. Disabled - WHO
3. Discouraged - HOW

Next time I'll comment on each of the above dissatisfactions.

Yes, motivation may be a challenging task, but no more do you need to wonder about where to start: Go one-on-one and begin the process of exploring WHY.

It's not really a big secret. I've seen people work a lot harder for a little recognition than for bonuses and money. And get this, money doesn't always motivate, but recognition - when given the right way - is a sure winner. On a scale from 1 to 10, recognition may not be a 10, but it clearly scores higher and more accurately than monetary rewards. Where does that leave us?

Last week I asked: Is recognition from others important? The poll quickly returned 43 responses, giving us the following statistics:

The outcome was in fact highly predictable. In round numbers, only 13% believe it's "not critical" and 4% believe it's "not important". However, I was anxious to know more about the group of people who believe recognition does matter. What I wanted to test was: How many are maybe "cynically" inclined to consider recognition as merely a tool to increase performance, getting what they want from others..? as opposed to, how many actually acknowledge our deep need for recognition as humans?

Recognition is not just what you say

Recognition only comes across when it's sincere - everybody knows that - quite intuitively so. When trust is low, talk's cheap. What you say has no real power. However, what logically follows, most people tend to forget; recognition is not so much what you say, but ten times doubly more so what you behave. And what messages do we pass on through our behavior? You're right again - it's emotional - what we truly feel inside is what comes across. What does this mean?

Recognition is not how they feel, but how you feel

It means, when we feel good about someone, we automatically behave in such a way that those positive feelings are conveyed to that other person. Whatever you decide to call it - body language, atmosphere, chemistry... The question isn't "how can I help that other person feel good about him or herself". It's completely the other way around: "How can I feel good about that person, in such a way that I will communicate on the subliminal level messages that support what that person already perceives about him or herself; that he or she is a valuable person with great talents and abilities"? In short, how can I work with my own feelings to be filled with postive emotions toward that particular person?

Recognition strikes when it underscores a positive self image

To obtain such a required change (and really - it's the only way), we need to be sensitive to how the other person perceives him or herself - to see and understand their world. It's not logical, it's psychological. We need to interpret people more correctly, i.e. see their behavior and performance from their point of view.

You see, that's what recognition is. Recognition is not you telling them something they didn't know. No, recognition is finding in others what they long before recognized about themselves already. That need to be recognized by someone else for who they believe they are and what they are truly capable of is the reassurance they seek in others to prove to themselves that they were right about "the I am" all along. All people have kind of an internal struggle and conversation going on inside, saying "I'm good, I'm great, I can do this..." When their surroundings agree with what they believe about themselves, then it must be true... and behavior to prove it follows. That's when recognition hits home; when people not only pick up your positive message, but when they actually believe in it themselves.

We need to help answer the deepest questions that are most important to people: Whether they matter, whether or not they are important and give them reassurance that they are valuable, that they have purpose and that they can make a difference. If you do that, then people will love and respect you. That's when you release energy in such a way that performance outperforms what the critics thought was impossible.

My hope is that managers and leaders of businesses will not only artificially supply their employees and colleagues with insincere compliments, but that they will understand the deep needs that they can fulfill in others. Recognition is not just a compliment - recognition not only can make a big difference in performance. Recognition can make a difference for life!

...or better yet: How important is it to be recognized by someone senior to yourself? It could be your parents, your boss, someone you admire, a renowned expert, in the media, on the web or simply by a crowd of people that knows who you are and with whom you spend much of your time?

That's what this quick poll is about. Provided you're a LinkedIn user already, this will only take three clicks to respond to.

See what others have said about the importance of recognition and check if your respons is in line with the majority of people "out there".

Conviction is the fruit of effective influence. To effectively influence someone, you need to send signals on three levels. All people pick up these signals, even though they may not know they do. What are these signals, and how do they work?

Regardless of how complex communication, teaching, selling, conflict or any form of human interaction may be, it always consists of three basic elements. And these elements are the solution to how we can find, reach and inspire each other.

The process always begins inside with "inner conviction". Then it extends to include other people through "shared conviction". Once we truly and humbly understand each other, then channels of external inspiration are opened to "discovered conviction". It's only when these convictions are in place that we come close to reaching our full interdependent potential.

				PASSION: Inner Conviction Inner conviction precedes all else. To convince others you first need to be truly convinced yourself. Inner conviction is evidenced by "the heart being on fire" (PASSION).
				CONNECTION: Shared Conviction Once the heart is right, other hearts may be reached. The purpose of shared conviction is to establish an atmosphere of trust. Shared conviction is evidenced by hearts and minds being knit together, and you can feel it (CONNECTION).
				INTUITION: Discovered Conviction To reach true commitment it is not enough to understand each other. Understanding and connecting is merely the means to an end; to create something new. Through hard and patient interactive labor people sometimes tap into intuitive powers. When their talents and abilities are joined they can make groundbreaking discoveries, which is evidence of discovered conviction (INTUITION).

Passion, Connection and Intuition are each channels through which we send signals to those around us. Only as strong, clean and in sync these signals are will we find true and solid conviction; conviction that is:

1. deeply rooted inside
2. altruistically shared and
3. emotionally owned through the experience of mutual discovery.

That's when a message has power!

"I can't help it, that's just how I feel..." Well, that's not good enough! You are in charge, even in charge of your feelings. That may sound harsh, but being in charge of your feelings in large measure decides how successful you are.

Yes, I know. Feelings can't be helped. Sometimes they just come, don't they? In fact, they pretty much do so all the time. Of course there's no simple answer. However, maybe we're not so much a victim of feelings after all?!

Feelings and emotions are a direct result of how we perceive the world around us. For instance, let's say a colleague turns to you and says: "Aren't you turning a little fat and out of shape?" Would that trigger feelings? What if there was a way to filter and help us steer those feelings in a desired direction even before any type of stimulus is allowed to trigger them?

Any type of stimulus is a form of energy							We have good news for you. Such a filter does exist. It's readily available to us. All we have to do is apply it. For the sake of keeping it simple we've divided the subject into three parts. There are three different types of stimuli that trigger feelings and emotions. We call these stimuli "sources of energy". Every kind of stimulus is a form of energy. Had it not been energy, it would not have reached us in the first place.

Energy can be witnessed all around us, but most energy (if not all) is invisible. Invisible or not, these energies broadcast their messages to us through what we might call channels. Let's briefly consider each of these three groups of channels.

Passion

Passion is energy from within. The first channel through which we receive inbound energy and powerful stimulus is from the inside and ourselves. One example of this kind of energy could be "self talk". All of us have a constant conversation going with ourselves. What messages are you giving yourself? Is there a way to filter self talk and be in charge?

Connection

Connection is energy from others. Another channel through which we receive energy is from the people around us. Did you ever distinguish between so-called good and bad vibes from someone? Of course you did. Having a conversation with any person allows us to pick up signals, but a lot of times we misinterpret them. What kind of stimulus are you experiencing from other people? Are you always correct in your interpretation of what they're passing on? And for that matter, do you think they always consciously know what signals the sending you?

Intuition

Intuition is energy from other sources. Maybe a largely underestimated channel is the stimulus we receive from undefined and unknown sources. Did you ever experience a sudden but powerful impression? How does it feel when a groundbreaking idea just hits your brain. Just the fact that it can leave as quickly as it came appears to me as evidence that it's indeed from the outside. Did you ever sense that there is more than just ourselves and the people around us that influences us?

Pick any book on sales, influence, communication, negotiation or even "success" in general, and you'll see that it's about at least one of these three channels. 3E is about mastering all three channels of influence.

Do you want to know how each of these can give you greater control of your emotional life? Do you want to know how they influence the people around you - your family, colleagues, customers? Passion, Connection and Intuition work both ways. That's when the subject gets interesting! Make sure to subscribe to this blog and read my comments about each of those channels coming soon.