Let's consider an every-day example of how energy makes all the difference while for instance raising a child or taking care of your family. Lillian and I have five children. As a family we've frequently discussed in family counsel how we'd like our mornings to be. But even though everyone puts forth an effort, with five kids ages four to twelve, there's bound to be some challenges - every single morning. How does energy apply in such a situation? And what does this have to do with sales or influence?
If I'm frustrated, irritated, impatient, tired, late or even just gradually growing angry, any one of these emotions will automatically transmit to the people around us - immediately. I may try to hide it, but really it's impossible to keep that energy inside. It all leaks out through the cracks. And we know it all too well, don't we?!
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But, you see, the trouble isn't really knowing and understanding. Remember, what's common sense isn't necessarily common practice out there... In fact, it's mostly exactly the opposite; what we know we should be doing, we often don't do. That's how it requires constant and conscious effort to stay focused on positive energy. Now, let's look at why it makes such a difference to do so. | |
I should be the first to admit, I don't always succeed. Reflect for a moment on what might be the elements of a typical morning for any of us...
(1) Getting up
PATH TO NEGATIVE ENERGY: When the alarm goes off, our partner gets up, but we ourselves might be tempted to just slumber a tiny bit longer. Already at this point negative feelings may start building up inside. Children jump into our bed, someone turns on the bright light or opens the curtains, we get reminders of how much there's to do today, and even when we do get up, both the toilet and shower are occupied.
PATH TO POSITIVE ENERGY: The night before we've retired early. Together with our partner we wake up before everyone else, well rested. We make our bed together and turn on pleasent music in the living room. The volume is so low you can hardly hear the music. Family members wake up with a hug and kind words. Whenever anyone does anything to trigger bad feelings we remind ourselves: "I love this person!" and we ask "I wonder how he or she feels right now / how can I be of help?"
(2) Getting breakfast
PATH TO NEGATIVE ENERGY: Everyone's hungry and looks out for their own breakfast. When someone enters the kitchen another leaves. It's usually best to be among the first to eat, because sometimes we run out of milk or even bread. The kitchen is messy from yesterday when we didn't take the time to clean it up. Sometimes there's unkind words spoken as the rush and disorganized meal causes frustration or even accidents. The youngest kids are at times alone in the kitchen, when everyone else is going back and forth trying to get ready... not smart!
PATH TO POSITIVE ENERGY: The night before the table has been set by one of the kids. Breakfast starts at seven sharp. If someone's late, nobody calls out loud for the missing person. Rather, it's an opportunity to give that someone another a hug and a compliment. Breakfast is kind of slow. Some of us are just quiet. There's time to think, to wake up and time to speak and ask questions as we check up on some of the most important upcoming events of the day. When fruit and vitamins have been swallowed we're ready for another day.
(3) Getting out the door
PATH TO NEGATIVE ENERGY: While everyone is more or less desparately scrambling together their stuff, you regularly discover that a shoe or a glove is missing. Someone's yelling for more toilet paper while others are brushing their teeth, too fast and in a hurry. Parents repeat the threatening warning everyone knows so well: "You're gonna be late for school - again!"
PATH TO POSITIVE ENERGY: "Good luck with the test today" becomes everybody's que to getting ready. The table is cleared by all in less than a minute. Someone's telling a joke as hugs and kisses are passed and the youngest kids stand waving at the door. It's tradition!
Your feelings about the others
The difference lies in how you feel about the people around you. The above mentioned path to positive energy is of course never that perfect! It rarely is. However, there are proactive elements in it that makes it much easier to keep a sincere and heartfelt smile on your face - throughout the remainder of the day.
Getting up, getting breakfast and getting out the door are all activities that repeat themselves every day. Even if you're single and alone, there's always a number of "good reasons" to quickly start tapping into negative energy right from the very start. If you do, however, you'll only generate more negativity. Why not think it through, discuss the details and decide what you want, together?
People who take control of how the day starts tend to sincerely and honestly think more positively and highly of the people around them. As a result they also find themselves surrounded by people that want to and indeed do return those positive feelings.
If energy is to work for you and not against you here's what you may want to consider: Retire early in the evening and start the next day with a conscious effort to stay tuned in on the positive, especially every time you're tempted not to.
Over the years clients sometimes have built dysfunctional procurement routines to protect themselves from dysfunctional sales people and sales systems. In fact, "sometimes" is a euphemism. In my experience, almost every organization has to varying degrees a dysfunctional procurement culture. These flaws arise mostly from sales people who do not honestly protect client interests in the pursuit of short term business. What can you do today to reverse this trend?
There are loads of books written touching this subject. In Let's Get Real or Let's Not Play, Mahan Kalsa and Randy Illig beautifully elaborate on the matter. Maybe, in my opinion, they do so better than anyone else up to this point. For this reason, quite frankly, this book is simply a must read!
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You can do many things to combat dysfunctional selling. When you do so, you'll promote the development of healthy and open procurement models. One basic habit inevitably reinforces ways to how you better can protect client interests. It is this: Seek out senior sales people and executives and ask them what they would have done differently had they started their careers today. The advice you'll get, you'll see, almost always will point you in the direction of how to --better protect client interests--.
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The first principle of influence or selling is POSITION. I often summarize the principle of position with two words: "It's Thursday!" What's position..? It's Thursday! If you haven't heard me explain it during training, here's it is.
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Your position in any sale is where it all starts, pluss it's what affects everything else. Think of it as a question to a customer about what he or she thinks of you and your offer. If you skip all the beating around the bush, every customer always has a very clear opinion of both you as a person and your offer, at any given time. You better believe it. You may not get it out of them, but they have one. Their perception of you and your offer, that's your position with them. If you hypnotized them they'd give it to you, loud and clear. | |||||||||
To illustrate. If someone were to ask me what day it is, I'd be able to respond promptly: "It's Thursday". No discussion. End of story. It's finite. Accepted. Taken for granted.
Is it a fact, though? Sure, it's a fact; it's Thursday. A relative fact, maybe..? What?! Well, what if the majority of the world's populace just decided to make it Friday? Hypothetically speaking, it's possible... But highly unlikely, don't you think? That's how position works, how position appears. It easily seems as though nothing can be done about it.
Position is the first principle of sales success. Position is perception of relative facts. "It's Thursday" is a relative fact. OK, it's an extreme example, but it's still relative. The principle of position as perception of relative facts teaches us a load of things. Maybe the first most obvious lesson is this:
(1) Your position will either work for or against you
So many times I do training and dig into specific business cases with sales people. Every time a sales team starts discussing real customer cases there's a number of recognizable characteristics in individuals that come to the surface. They reveal the differences between high and OK performers specifically related to the principle of position:
You can see how one quality leads to the other, as these traits are listed almost in successive order. A second lesson that follows the first is:
(2) Change the position itself or you adapt to it
"It's Thursday" as an example of POSITION also illustrates how positions in fact regularly change, we just need to be there when it happens. Either you change the position itself or you adapt to it. If you were to ask me again tomorrow, I'd say "it's Friday". Of course, you say. Well then, why don't you stay at it until you win that way. Almost always, I repeat, almost always, there are ways to change or improve your position, i.e. the way the customer perceives the facts about you and your offer. Typical positions we can influence are:
- a bad or malfunctioning product
- a poor brand or reputation
- a market in recession or tight budgets
- incompetent management, mine or yours
- a failed relationship with a customer or vendor
These are just examples. Now, today, consider your most important sale, right now. Ask yourself what your position is. If you're not sure you're in a better position than your competition (and competition is not just other companies, but every factor that competes with you getting the contract) then look closely at what can be done. You'll find there's always something.
I'm telling you, you can decide to be a high performer if you're willing to do what it takes to improve your position. You do this by either "working around the fact that it's Thursday or changing the relative fact that it's Thursday". Either way you can win!
So what's this energy thing in communication? Well, it's everything. How can you communicate and not relate what you're doing to energy? Communication is energy. But there's more to energy in communication than you might think. Let's take a quick look at energy again, and maybe we'll catch a glimpse of it.
There are different energy levels in communication. You may have felt it. It's real. It matters. It's something every successful individual intuitively knows and effectively applies. Most of all, it's quantifiable, specific and something you can repeat - over and over again - that is, if you know how to.
Since the term "energy" may sound a bit blurry or hard to "practice in real life", why don't we bring some structure to it. Just for argument's sake, let's say there are three levels. The first level would be ME, myself. It's when I begin to resonate with a particular kind of message. The second level is US, you and me. It's when we begin to resonate with each other. The third level is IT, something out there. This would be when we begin to resonate with the environment, the higher and invisible forces we're surrounded by.
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(The third level doesn't need to be any more mystical than e.g. two individuals having a long distance conversation by the use of a cell phone. Are you able to explain the force or channel through which they're interacting? Unless you've studied it in school, you're probably not. But there's no immediate need to understand or explain how a cell phone works, only the fact that it does). | |||||||||||||||||||
That third level
Most people can easily relate to the first two energy levels (i.e. ME and US). But to some, the third energy level (i.e. IT) sounds too mystical. That's OK, if you feel it that way. Just remember though, whatever the message you behave will be understood differently on each level (yes, "behave" is the appropriate word for it). You see, each level gives more information, because behavior takes on different and more meaning the higher up you communicate. When all the others around you are perceiving the world on "the third level", you'll be missing out on quite a bit if you're still only communicating on "the second level". Why don't you just go in faith for once and test yourself. You may discover there's more to communication than you originally thought. Quite frankly, what have you got to lose?
Even though level one (ME) and level two (US) are understood, most people seldom experience them for real in a professional setting. How sad this is! What's more, because there's no resonating ME, WE don't resonate either (i.e. US). Why? Because there's a natural principle based sequence to this. We can't resonate unless there's first individual resonance. And that's also why so few people understand the third level, which in turn is dependent on both ME and US. You get it?
Let's illustrate with an example to make sure I didn't lose you: Now that there's such a stir around Michael Jackson's passing away, why don't we consider him for a moment?
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First, do you think Michael Jackson ever went on stage without reaching some kind of "resonating ME"? Do you think his best concerts were without a burning desire to share his best self? Of course not. Did he like the songs he was singing? Indeed, we may suppose he did. Second, do you think his resonating with the crowds was significant to their musical experience or his performance on stage? I'd say, probably... Third, do you think his wildest fans might refer to something bigger than just music and dance while experiencing him first hand during a concert? Does their ecstatic behavior make sense to us? Maybe not. Does it make sense to them? In some inexplicable way, most likely. If in doubt, take a look at Michael Jackson for yourself. | |||||||||
It begins with the individual, spreads to those around and then becomes something intangible, but real. At this point, I'll quickly point out that effective communication seldom is a "performance", but rather a shared experience. It can be quietly done without any extravagance or even technique. The absolute minimum that it takes is sincerity (outbound energy) and sensitivity (inbound energy).
Practical and doable
To help understand each level, a long time ago, I put together three scenarios visualising what essentially takes place every time there's a shift in energy. The three scenarios explain each level more precisely. If you haven't heard them explained during a training session or read them I suggest you do so now, before reading the conclusion of this article.
What's the big deal? Well, my message and claim is simple: YOU CAN, it you want to, communicate in a much more exciting way than you're currently doing. It's possible to trigger enormous amounts of energy on three levels. First of all inside yourself. Secondly, in others. And third, and most of all, in unison by the use of power in your environment. And to what purpose? To get a much deeper commitment in yourself and others. If you're in selling, knowing about this is simply a must.
So how do we apply it? Here's how to put it into action. Always stay focused on three areas (one for each level respectively):
Position + Trust + Behavior = Message
Each of these is very concrete and measurable. We dive deeply into each of these areas in my book The 3 Energies Behind Sales Success, but if you'd like some other examples (and they're merely examples) of books written on each topic, you may consider the one's listed below. Note! These authors don't necessarily explain how to unleash the energies, but they tap into the do's and don'ts:
- Level 1: Position - Strategic Selling, Miller Heiman
- Level 2: Trust - The Speed of Trust, Stephen M.R. Covey
- Level 3: Behavior - SPIN® Selling, Neil Rackham
Conclusion
To trigger energy - the stuff that adds real power - and makes communication become really powerful, you'll have to work on answering the WHAT (position), WHO (trust) and HOW (behavior) questions. This is the secret to energy in your communication. There's no shortcut, but hard work. However, once the energy's there, it sure feels like a shortcut.
In striving for excellence every so often we tend to forget the basics. It has always been like that... We see this in all sales people, too. When there's a dip in performance, you can be sure, 80% of the time it's due to forgetting some of the basics. What lesson can we learn from this? If we're careful to be aware of and stick to the basics, we can save ourselves an awful lot of pain and failure.
So what are those basics? There are a few! In stead of naming a number of them, let's just consider one and one only; face-to-face one-on-one conversation. Ultimately, the most basic interaction and sales activity is one-on-one contact with another individual. You can make a lot of mistakes, but if you fail to go one-on-one mistakes will usually do unnecessary and greater damage.
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I once had a CEO that intuitively understood the principle of one-on-one. It was a beauty to witness! Almost on a regular basis he would come for a quick visit in my office and discuss some of the difficult issues coming up in our next management meeting. By the time he left my office he would know perfectly my feelings and viewpoints. Knowing him well, he did the same thing with all the other managers, too. Then, when the time came to meet and discuss, he would have no difficulty reaching an agreement. | |||||||||||
In short, he exercised a form of one-on-one sales, and it worked very well for him.
The speed of trust
Make sure to keep in mind how today's screaming need for efficiency may lure you into a dead end. E-mail, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twittering and other similar online tools - even the phone - may increase the frequency with which we are in touch, but quality conversations can never be replaced. The time and place to share intimate or private matters is face-to-face. One-one-one may not be the only way to build trust, but it certainly is the most effective way, even-though it may feel oldfashioned and slow.
While recommending Stephen M. R. Covey's book The Speed of Trust, David Neeleman, Founder and CEO of JetBlue Airways says it so well: "With high trust, success comes faster, better and at lower cost."
Without moderation, I believe Marit Breivik may well be among the best coaches in the world. Her management has brought about outstanding results. She's widely known for creating a phenomenal team spirit. What are some of the distinctive principles behind her success?
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I was asked to speak at the same conference as Marit Breivik last week and had the opportunity to ask her a few questions about her tremendous success.
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One of the key factors she points out is the importance of supporting each player individually, making sure to highlight key strengths that fit into the whole. Teamwork is not only about bringing each player to flawless expertise, neither is it possible to create synergy by itself --unless-- each player and the entire team knows WHY and WHAT they are about.
Humble and teachable
I also appreciate Marit Breivik's humble approach. During her career she has stressed the importance of taking counsel from others and making sure the entire culture is one of constant learning. There are few world champions, but as a team we can create complimentary strengths that collectively come close to world class performance and passion. Being the best takes daily effort, and staying ahead of the game demands ongoing and intense attention.
If you want excellence you need to start in the right place and then follow through. This text answers where to start. When you apply the principles described here and in other related blog posts, you'll find that current problems transform into stepping stones, and that the battle for success wasn't really where you originally thought it was.
There are two kinds of WHY questions. If you want to be successful, you not only need to ask WHY, but also the right kind of WHY. Should you ask WHY the wrong way your efforts will work against you and become counterproductive. Let's take a closer look at all this...
We've already pointed out how success might not be what you think it is. For instance, success is mostly quality, not quantity.
We've also clarified how most people tend to ask WHAT instead of first searching and scrutinizing WHY. Skipping straight to WHAT leads to a misplaced focus on having rather than becoming.
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With this in mind it's time to address what those "right WHY questions" really are.
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Every one of us is a public display of deep belief systems, and we cannot help it. Those are the facts.
Why the right WHY is crucial
Now, consider this: There are proactive and reactive WHY questions. Some WHY's seem to activate us positively while others tend to passify and depress. We're talking about positive and negative energy - how some activities seem to energize us through healthy reflection while others slow down or dull our momentum.
For instance, putting it bluntly, when someone we love dies, asking "WHY did this have to happen?" is likely to drive you into self pity and depression. A WHY of this kind is of course tempting to linger on, but it is of little help and to no avail.
A better approach might be to ask "WHY am I still alive"? Can you see how immediately this question brings us back to purpose? Can you see how it will make us search out positive meaning? Can you see how it will trigger subconscious activity that soon will inspire you back on your feet and running?
Of course, WHY is a process. In fact, WHY questions belong to the time-outs of life. Are you good at taking regular breaks to reflect on deeper questions? If you are, you'll find that it serves you well. Decide NOW to pull back for at least a few minutes once a day - slow down. It's the beginning of greatness.
Great things are emotional
If we have even just a tiny bit of ambition, what Brian Tracy calls "the belief that I can do better", then we'll strive to accomplish and somehow do "great things".
The conscious mind strives to do "great things". However, the conscious mind is logical and slow, seeking to logically work success. Remember, success is mostly emotional. But emotional results, the great things, are not controlled nor influenced mainly by the conscious mind. Emotions belong to the irrational and psycho--logical-- subconscious mind. The great things the conscious mind seeks to logically accomplish are emotionally accomplished by the subconscious. And what is it that trigger the emotions from the subconscious mind? It's so simple, it's almost scary: When you start the process of asking WHY - WHY in the right way. If there is such a thing as great things, then at least they are emotional.
"We can do no great things, only small things with great love." (Mother Teresa)
If you ever had the ambition of becoming an expert in sales or any area of persuasive communication you will need to help your team or organization address the most basic questions.
...and most of all, you need to ask these questions yourself.
The questions you need to ask yourself as well as instill in others are WHY, WHAT, WHO and HOW - and in that order. They in turn, give us the structure of the entire subject of sales or selling activity. No more do you need to look for a complete overview of what selling is all about.
It's ironic! High performing sales people are just like profitable customers: They are driven by a mission and purpose (i.e. WHY). Their burning desire leads them to what we call "desperate dissatisfaction" (i.e. WHAT, WHO and HOW).
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What is it that perpetuates a burning flame in sales personel, or to make a comparison, in our most profitable customers?
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(WHAT) From distrusted to entrusted
The most fundamental part of any success is trust. Trust begins with WHAT. It's down to such things as your track record, what you've done in the past and what you stand for. If what you have to offer based on your history fulfills their purpose (WHY), then this overlap becomes the driver of continued value innovation. One of the initial dialogs with a customer should always be aimed at answering:
- What are you seeking to accomplish?
(WHO) From disabled to enabled
People without people are disabled. The great enabler is WHO. Some say: "It's not what you know, but who you know". The saying is almost true, but in the long run, the correct rendition of reality is "it's what you know and who you know". To build any successful win-win the starting question always is:
- To whom is this important?
(HOW) From discouraged to encouraged
Not knowing how causes feelings of despair and discouragement. The way to encourage performance is helping others discover HOW. Rather than projecting our own solutions on to others, we should pose queries centering around:
- How do you want to do it?
Just like customers, sales people first need to know why. Either help your sales people find out WHY or don't hire them at all. They will never burn like you want them to if they don't know why - from their perspective.
So you're a manager and some team members are not performing equal to their potential. What do you do?
| I will tell you right up front. The root cause of poor performance is the unanswered WHY. Every individual who is not running at "max speed" is somehow struggling with the WHY. We see this everywhere! Here's an example to illustrate: |
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In one of the world's largest and most successful companies I was recently asked to turn around a sales team of 26 Account Managers from poor to peak performance. One young man clearly stood out. In spite of his being inexperienced and new on the job his performance was out of the ordinary.
During our coaching session I asked him: "Why are you here"? It was as I expected. Unlike any of the others, as soon as we tapped into WHY, he could hardly stop talking. He knew! He told me about his desire to learn how to sell, about his failures in the past, about his feeling frustrated about his life and about how he wanted to make a serious change. Most of all, he wanted to be reunited with his family.
The sum of all these WHY's gave him the reasons he needed to perform on the job. They drove him to performance. Nobody had to push him. He was pulling himself.
When we know WHY our entire being shifts from "content" to what I like to call "desperate dissatisfaction". Reflecting on WHY helps us realise a number of important dissatisfactions, all of which can be grouped into three areas:
- Distrusted - WHAT
- Disabled - WHO
- Discouraged - HOW
Next time I'll comment on each of the above dissatisfactions.
Yes, motivation may be a challenging task, but no more do you need to wonder about where to start: Go one-on-one and begin the process of exploring WHY.
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