It's not really a big secret. I've seen people work a lot harder for a little recognition than for bonuses and money. And get this, money doesn't always motivate, but recognition - when given the right way - is a sure winner. On a scale from 1 to 10, recognition may not be a 10, but it clearly scores higher and more accurately than monetary rewards. Where does that leave us?

Last week I asked: Is recognition from others important? The poll quickly returned 43 responses, giving us the following statistics:

The outcome was in fact highly predictable. In round numbers, only 13% believe it's "not critical" and 4% believe it's "not important". However, I was anxious to know more about the group of people who believe recognition does matter. What I wanted to test was: How many are maybe "cynically" inclined to consider recognition as merely a tool to increase performance, getting what they want from others..? as opposed to, how many actually acknowledge our deep need for recognition as humans?

Recognition is not just what you say

Recognition only comes across when it's sincere - everybody knows that - quite intuitively so. When trust is low, talk's cheap. What you say has no real power. However, what logically follows, most people tend to forget; recognition is not so much what you say, but ten times doubly more so what you behave. And what messages do we pass on through our behavior? You're right again - it's emotional - what we truly feel inside is what comes across. What does this mean?

Recognition is not how they feel, but how you feel

It means, when we feel good about someone, we automatically behave in such a way that those positive feelings are conveyed to that other person. Whatever you decide to call it - body language, atmosphere, chemistry... The question isn't "how can I help that other person feel good about him or herself". It's completely the other way around: "How can I feel good about that person, in such a way that I will communicate on the subliminal level messages that support what that person already perceives about him or herself; that he or she is a valuable person with great talents and abilities"? In short, how can I work with my own feelings to be filled with postive emotions toward that particular person?

Recognition strikes when it underscores a positive self image

To obtain such a required change (and really - it's the only way), we need to be sensitive to how the other person perceives him or herself - to see and understand their world. It's not logical, it's psychological. We need to interpret people more correctly, i.e. see their behavior and performance from their point of view.

You see, that's what recognition is. Recognition is not you telling them something they didn't know. No, recognition is finding in others what they long before recognized about themselves already. That need to be recognized by someone else for who they believe they are and what they are truly capable of is the reassurance they seek in others to prove to themselves that they were right about "the I am" all along. All people have kind of an internal struggle and conversation going on inside, saying "I'm good, I'm great, I can do this..." When their surroundings agree with what they believe about themselves, then it must be true... and behavior to prove it follows. That's when recognition hits home; when people not only pick up your positive message, but when they actually believe in it themselves.

We need to help answer the deepest questions that are most important to people: Whether they matter, whether or not they are important and give them reassurance that they are valuable, that they have purpose and that they can make a difference. If you do that, then people will love and respect you. That's when you release energy in such a way that performance outperforms what the critics thought was impossible.

My hope is that managers and leaders of businesses will not only artificially supply their employees and colleagues with insincere compliments, but that they will understand the deep needs that they can fulfill in others. Recognition is not just a compliment - recognition not only can make a big difference in performance. Recognition can make a difference for life!