Ever since I first grasped the concept of "the numbers game" I've been fascinated with statistics and predictable outcomes. Can we apply empirical data to improve ourselves, the teams we're part of and the company or organization we work for? Yes we can.

I still vividly remember a particular math class in primary school. We were assigned the task of observing traffic from a bridge, with cars driving underneath it. From where we were standing we could easily witness whether or not each driver had fastened their seat belt. We also kept track of some other data which quickly revealed some patterns.

The strange thing was, the numbers always came out pretty much the same. I learnt quite a few things that day. Among others, given the right conditions, sufficiently large groups of people (i.e. "populations") are predictable. Just like the weather forecast is able to foresee weather variations, so can also pure observation teach us about people. Even though we're all different, in large numbers, we can act on assumptions that will support us in any collaboration to produce successful results.

Why is this so exciting to me? Let me tell you... in so many ways! Let me highlight two perspectives in which "large numbers" can be applied on a practical level.

Macro Trends (Many People)

Every time I head up a new project that involves a lot of people, I know the best way to succeed is to first know something about pains and gains. If a certain percentage of people have the same pain, I know there's an equivalent need on the reverse side. The people with the need should be listened to. That listening is the essence of what I do all the time. It's the best guarantee for success. I have yet to see a project that fails beginning with and based on listening to the people with a screaming need. (And if you can't find an immediate need, you simply continue by listening more ;-)

Micro Trends (One Person)

Patterns can be found in groups of people, but patterns can also be found in individuals if you observe them over time. In this way, "the large numbers" can reveal and predict habits or trends which can be used to map out behavior. I use this on myself as well as on others in coaching. It's a powerful tool. (If you want help observing yourself, let me know, and I'll help you get started - all depending on what you'd like to accomplish.)

It will surprise you how much --observation with regular intervals-- can do for you to help eliminate and replace dysfunctional behavior. This year I'll be working closely with Knut Vareide on one (or more) research projects. Knut is well known in Norway for measuring societal trends and I thoroughly enjoy both his expertise and friendship. Knut Vareide just recently set up a blog on regional development, which I believe will be interesting to follow.

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Is there someone that's really important to you? Do you really need to influence someone? If you really have a desparate need to, I mean, if you really need to influence another person, then I've spent the past nine years exploring HOW this is best done. Here's a quick example.

We have five children. All five are highly active individuals. When all five are in one place, they always have at least two conversations going on at the same time, sometimes more. The chatter is endless. Simply inspiring to watch and behold as a parent ;-)

Now, let's say we're driving in the car. When I bring all our five children with me I easily end up being nothing but the driver of the car. Unless I somehow get involved in the conversation, the situation by default will turn me into a chafeur, "disappearing in the crowd".

So if I want to become more influential, what would be a smart move? Three things: Strengthen the POSITION Build our RELATIONSHIP Improve my BEHAVIOR How could I apply these three to become more influential?

Well, instead of bringing all the kids in the car at the same time, I can (1) strengthen the position by just inviting one of them to come along. Of course, this may not always be possible. Sometimes the whole family needs to go somewhere. But let's say I want to influence one of my daughters. When only the two of us are in the car I automatically make the switch from being the driver to becoming "daddy". The improved position now allows me to (2) build our relationship. How do we best build a relationship? For example, I can (3) improve my behavior in relation to my daughter by listening more attentatively.

What's the difference? I've applied The 3 Energies Behind Sales Success that automatically changed the scenario to one-on-one. I've found that "the one-on-one scenario" often results when we strengthen position, build relationships and improve behavior. Going one-on-one turns me into a dad, a spouse, a friend, a colleague, a leader. In fact, no matter what, going one-on-one always leverages the greatest influence!

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Networking is a lifestyle, nothing more, nothing less. Your life and style reveals your motivations (the WHY's and WHAT's) as well as WHO you are. To get insight about yourself, consider HOW you behave when you're around other people.

"If relationships are like flowers we should behave like butterflies..."		One of three main differences between successful and unsuccessful people is the way in which they build relationships. If I were to describe the difference with as few words as possible; "Successful people always build relationships, unsuccessful people only build relationships when they see the need to." WHY? Well, for one... because successful people see and understand the value of the relationship itself, whereas unsuccessful people only have their eyes fixed on the benefits of the relationship. Thus, networking is a lifestyle to successful people. To unsuccessful or "mediocre" people it is a separate task that needs to get done when they feel a need for something they want and can only get from or via other people. People will consciously or unconsciously sense their insincerity and the lack of trust undermines the entire relationship.

Relationships Are Like Flowers

The difference in attitude is scary. The difference in results even more so. To this day I am surprised at how some people just never make this basic discovery; the staggering and fatal consequences of stepping another person on his or her toes. A friend of mine said it so well: "A relationship is like a tender plant. We try to build relationships, but every so often we walk around in the bed of flowers hoping that the flowers will still somehow blossom." A relationship needs constant attention, and one mistake only will forever hurt and remain unless there is honest and sincere forgiveness.

My conclusion? Don't just network when you need work or more business. Make networking a lifestyle, and you'll soon find that even your attitude will improve as a result of your working to improve your behavior.

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Are you able to quickly calculate the number of relationships there are in a group of people that all know each other? It's easy. But WHY would such a number, or the question itself, be of interest to you at all..?

						Relationships are one-on-one. The equation of human relationships is (n² - n)/2. So if you're in a group of 9 people that all know each other, there are (9² - 9)/2 = 36 relationships. Imagine the explosive nature of this equation as the number of people in the group grows. This principle is part of the secret behind the power of a human network. The more people you know, the easier you gain access to whoever or whatever it is you need. Networking makes life easier. Many of the challenges we're faced with on a daily basis can be solved through other people. To illustrate, let's imagine you had one or two people near you with unlimited resources. Would you not turn to them for help every so often? Of course you would. Well, it goes without saying, then, that the more people you know the closer you get to making such a scenario a reality.

However, let's consider an even more important aspect of this. The flip side. What if you were that person with unlimited resources? Two questions: 1) Would you not like to be such an individual? ...and 2) do you think people would come to you for help?

It is my experience that if we make building a network our lifestyle, people will increasingly come to us for help and (and this is the secret) present us with opportunities on the way. People presenting you with problems that need solutions are usually bringing you hidden opportunities.

HOW do you build a network? By constantly engaging yourself in three key habits:

• Be the best at what you do (PASSION)
• Seek out and build new friends (CONNECTION)
• Give more than you receive (INTUITION)

...but you have to make it a lifestyle. It's only by practicing Passion, Connection and Intuition daily that you become genuine.

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"If you tell me WHAT to do, I may do it for you. If you help me understand WHY I should do it, I'll want to do it and get it done, much better". The WHY makes all the difference. Why then, if WHY is so important, do leaders tend to forget its importance?

Every time I do training, coaching or any kind of work to improve a company's performance I see the same crucial principle at work: Unless individuals see and understand the WHY, no lasting improvement ever takes place. However, when WHY is clear, dramatic change can occur, sometimes even instantly and without resistance. WHY seems to be the redeeming element of effective training - the ultimate source of motivation.

A repeated flaw in leadership is forgetting to focus on individual perspective. When leaders try to make a significant difference, they mostly make their appeal to the masses. Thus, they forget that lasting change of habits and patterns is highly personal. We don't change groups of people as much as we change individual behavior. Help one person see the picture and you're well on your way to actually improve an entire organization.

I witness both types of leaders every day and it's fairly easy to spot the difference between them. When leaders are personal and stick to individual follow up they are able to move large corporations. When they don't, they fail and fail miserably. Stay personal. Work one-on-one as well as with the larger group. Inspire change in that one individual. When you win the heart of the one, it gradually opens the door to everyone else.

Make a Big Difference So if you want to make a big difference, at least three energies are indispensable to getting results. Each energy has a principle attached that guides our efforts in becoming a change agent among people:

(1) Ask WHY / WHAT

Action: Ignite Passion by going one-on-one => inner conviction.

Passion is the energy that makes a person unstoppable. It lights up when WHY and WHAT becomes clear. Ask yourself the simple but tough questions: "Why am I doing what I do?" and "What am I about?"

(2) Ask WHO

Action: Make the Connection by executing plans together => shared conviction.

Connection is the energy that bonds us and causes us to succeed together. It brings a spark to every meaningful relationship when it becomes clear WHO matters most to us. Ask yourself the simple but tough questions: "Who is most important to me?" or "Who will give their all to the same mission as I have?".

(3) Ask HOW

Action: Stimulate Intuition by allowing individual freedom => discovered conviction.

Intuition is the energy that brings out the best in us. It shows the way in much the same way as our conscience. Individual answers will come to each of us as we deeply ask ourselves "How should I do this?" or "How can I best apply my talents and my style to solve these challenges?".

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Successful selling is about three breakthroughs that each unleash a specific type of energy. What are these energies and how do we unleash them?

When we consider the tree illustration from last week it should be easy to see that successful selling consists of three major breakthroughs (read: paradigm shifts). Every seed breaks out: from underground to fresh air from sprouting to reaching for the sky from growing up to fruit-bearing

We call them root route fruit, being respectively 1) the root structure and then 2) the route to 3) the fruit. Each one of these is most successful when going one-on-one. Root, route and fruit each deserve separate training and attention, but at this time, let's cut to the chase and extract the essence only - a summary so short it's almost impossible to explain with fewer words.

Root Our number one mission is strategic positioning, which figuratively speaking is "growing the root structure". That sounds great, but what does it mean? It means answering the WHAT questions. When we breakthrough with answers to WHAT we create context and experience inner conviction that unleashes the first energy we call Passion. Passion represents gasping for air and getting it (see bullet # 1 listed above) and maybe most of all clear and solid identity.

Route Mission leads to strategy. Our number one strategy is a network of trusting relationships, which figuratively speaking is "branching out like a tree". That sounds great, but what does it mean? It means seriously asking the WHO questions. When we breakthrough with answers to WHO we stir feelings and experience shared conviction that unleashes the second energy we call Connection. Connection represents reaching your highest potential (see bullet # 2 listed above). Potential is directly linked to your success with other people.

Fruit Strategy leads to network. Our number one way to network is consistently practicing technique and tactics, which figuratively speaking is "maturing and becoming fruitful". That sounds great, however, again what does it mean? It means working with the HOW questions. When we breakthrough with answers to HOW we identify technique and experience discovered conviction that unleashes the third energy we call Intuition. Intuition represents seeing the ultimate fruits of your effort (see bullet # 3 listed above), but more than that individual talent will surface.

A generic model for every perspective

Root, route and fruit is an allegory to explain 3E, which can be applied in every single setting. 3E is easily applied in both macro and micro perspectives, that is e.g. sales management (macro) or daily selling activities (micro). We can also apply 3E for internal or external activities. 3E also effectively enhances both organizational and personal improvement programs.

And here comes my personal highlight: After two long years we're finally ready to publish my next blogpost. Coming up next are the three scenarios that clarify the exceptional power of the methodical 3E approach to energy based selling. It will become clear what this really is all about. Yes, you may expect some of the best stuff you ever saw when it comes to sales theory!

Here's an overview of what we just covered in a simple matrix:

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One-on-one is the best way to do your selling. Nothing beats one-on-one! However, to be successful it's crucial to understand the depth and complexity of one-on-one interaction. Every sales cycle will include three levels of one-on-one dialog.

In reaching any kind of result we move through three levels or stages. The mental picture was originally introduced by Dr. Sephen Covey where he highlights natural law.

Sometimes we tend to think that social systems differ from natural systems, but really they don't. Just like growing a tree, moving from root structure to eventual fruit and harvest every human interaction has the same characteristics. Just like nature will not let you cheat, so it is with social systems. If you try to force the process, you'll fail.

Each level demands attention, and one-on-one is the basic most powerful and effective way to go about it: a) One-on-one to strategically position yourself, b) one-on-one to build a network of valuable relationships and c) one-on-one to skillfully apply tactics in reaching agreements.

We will continue dealing with this subject in the next post coming up.

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In striving for excellence every so often we tend to forget the basics. It has always been like that... We see this in all sales people, too. When there's a dip in performance, you can be sure, 80% of the time it's due to forgetting some of the basics. What lesson can we learn from this? If we're careful to be aware of and stick to the basics, we can save ourselves an awful lot of pain and failure.

So what are those basics? There are a few! In stead of naming a number of them, let's just consider one and one only; face-to-face one-on-one conversation. Ultimately, the most basic interaction and sales activity is one-on-one contact with another individual. You can make a lot of mistakes, but if you fail to go one-on-one mistakes will usually do unnecessary and greater damage.

I once had a CEO that intuitively understood the principle of one-on-one. It was a beauty to witness! Almost on a regular basis he would come for a quick visit in my office and discuss some of the difficult issues coming up in our next management meeting. By the time he left my office he would know perfectly my feelings and viewpoints. Knowing him well, he did the same thing with all the other managers, too. Then, when the time came to meet and discuss, he would have no difficulty reaching an agreement.

In short, he exercised a form of one-on-one sales, and it worked very well for him.

The speed of trust

Make sure to keep in mind how today's screaming need for efficiency may lure you into a dead end. E-mail, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twittering and other similar online tools - even the phone - may increase the frequency with which we are in touch, but quality conversations can never be replaced. The time and place to share intimate or private matters is face-to-face. One-one-one may not be the only way to build trust, but it certainly is the most effective way, even-though it may feel oldfashioned and slow.

While recommending Stephen M. R. Covey's book The Speed of Trust, David Neeleman, Founder and CEO of JetBlue Airways says it so well: "With high trust, success comes faster, better and at lower cost."

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Without moderation, I believe Marit Breivik may well be among the best coaches in the world. Her management has brought about outstanding results. She's widely known for creating a phenomenal team spirit. What are some of the distinctive principles behind her success?

		From left: Marit Breivik and Vidar Top at Grenland EXPO						I was asked to speak at the same conference as Marit Breivik last week and had the opportunity to ask her a few questions about her tremendous success. The similarities between sports and business became curiously apparent. As Breivik is the lady behind the most amazing team spirit I've ever seen, it should be worthwhile to spend a few minutes adhering to her advice.

One of the key factors she points out is the importance of supporting each player individually, making sure to highlight key strengths that fit into the whole. Teamwork is not only about bringing each player to flawless expertise, neither is it possible to create synergy by itself --unless-- each player and the entire team knows WHY and WHAT they are about.

Humble and teachable

I also appreciate Marit Breivik's humble approach. During her career she has stressed the importance of taking counsel from others and making sure the entire culture is one of constant learning. There are few world champions, but as a team we can create complimentary strengths that collectively come close to world class performance and passion. Being the best takes daily effort, and staying ahead of the game demands ongoing and intense attention.

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So you're a manager and some team members are not performing equal to their potential. What do you do?

I will tell you right up front. The root cause of poor performance is the unanswered WHY. Every individual who is not running at "max speed" is somehow struggling with the WHY. We see this everywhere! Here's an example to illustrate:

In one of the world's largest and most successful companies I was recently asked to turn around a sales team of 26 Account Managers from poor to peak performance. One young man clearly stood out. In spite of his being inexperienced and new on the job his performance was out of the ordinary.

During our coaching session I asked him: "Why are you here"? It was as I expected. Unlike any of the others, as soon as we tapped into WHY, he could hardly stop talking. He knew! He told me about his desire to learn how to sell, about his failures in the past, about his feeling frustrated about his life and about how he wanted to make a serious change. Most of all, he wanted to be reunited with his family.

The sum of all these WHY's gave him the reasons he needed to perform on the job. They drove him to performance. Nobody had to push him. He was pulling himself.

When we know WHY our entire being shifts from "content" to what I like to call "desperate dissatisfaction". Reflecting on WHY helps us realise a number of important dissatisfactions, all of which can be grouped into three areas:

1. Distrusted - WHAT
2. Disabled - WHO
3. Discouraged - HOW

Next time I'll comment on each of the above dissatisfactions.

Yes, motivation may be a challenging task, but no more do you need to wonder about where to start: Go one-on-one and begin the process of exploring WHY.