If you want to influence others - either way - energy is where it's at! By default, most of us instantly think of energy as something good and positive. I admit, I also easily perceive it that way. However, energy can in fact be either positive or negative. What happens when we pass on negative energy?

First of all, very few people actually communicate with energy. The majority of us simply don't put forth the effort, which means there's little or no passion present in the first place. Then, when we do apply passion, too often it's the negative kind.

			< Positive Vibes       Negative Vibes >

Of course, even though we may not believe it, negative energy breeds negative results - always! Did you ever try to bring about positive change with negative energy? Of course you have. We all have missed the mark this way. (Trying to "fix" someone or something short term with negative energy only causes greater damage long term. Energy always returns back to us, both the positive as well as the negative.)

To apply passion by way of positive energy requires serious and conscious effort, mostly because it's not natural to do so. In the continuum above, most of us spend our time and strength on the negative side. To get more positive results, make the switch by replacing negative energy with positive energy. In stead of being grumpy, start smiling. When you feel like criticizing, pay a sincere compliment. It's the beginning of becoming truly influential.

If you want to influence others, here's how basic influence is. Make sure you always:

1. believe in what you do - PASSION
2. establish strong relationships - CONNECTION
3. learn and grow in talent, but apply it your way - INTUITION

I believe each of these three categories is worth a lifetime of study, but they remain the essence of influence. It's the essence of selling; basic sales. They are "The 3 Energies Behind Sales Success". The ultimate summary on sales!

YouTube presentation about these three energies.

Intuition is the ability to act without reasoning AND harvest a successful, sometimes predictable, outcome. Intuition is knowing how to act without necessarily being able to explain why. Intuition can be the tiniest inkling, but at the same time a powerful urge, and when suppressed it will leave you feeling imbalanced and out of place. Intuition is natural talent and can almost have similar characteristics as that of a reflex. Intuition is the principle of personal power in that it belongs to you, being almost like a protective force as well as giving you an edge on your surroundings. Fight intuition and you'll lose. Nurture intuition and you'll grow, you'll learn and above all you'll be victorious.

Is intuition a mystery? Sure it is. But, however mystical it might be, it still remains a fact. There are a lot of things that are hard to explain, but we still know they are real. Intuition is real. You're asking: How do you know, Vidar? Well, I've "tasted" it. I've acted on it, and I've taught others to do so, and do you know what I've found..? Intuition never fails. It's like an inner compass that points out the way and energizes everything we do.

Why is intuition important?

I always emphasize intuition during training sessions. One important reason for this is because intuition frees up talent. Each one of us does things differently. Sales models often specify behavior too much. If a sales model is not focused around generic principles it tends to limit a persons freedom to employ talent - which all of us have in abundance. By focusing on principles, individuals can apply them whichever way they want.

But even in this, intuition is not completely defined. Intuition has the amazing capacity to instantly and without warning also help us discover new principles - while on the go. And beat this; intuition especially uncovers those specific principles YOU have a unique gift to wield in battle. Any one particular "style" may be almost impossible for one person to adopt, but might beautifully fit another, almost like the size of a shoe. This fit usually takes place when two conditions are first in place:

• When we learn what needs to be learned about basics
• When we make a special effort to succeed - we move through frustration and exert ourselves beyond our comfort zone

My advice: Learn from others, but apply that same learning your way! Your inner compass will tell you how.

Intuition can be a powerful ally when applied correctly. However, sometimes intuition is mixed up with "whatever comes natural" in such a way that it hurts more than it does good. Yes, intuition is closely linked to natural response. Still, intuition is not doing what we feel like doing, rather it is doing what we know we should be doing. Let me illustrate the difference with a personal experience:

								Recently, one of my daughters really got on my nerves. You know how it is. Even the best people can sometimes just step on your toes, and not even sense it. Only, this time she stepped unawares on the toes of someone else. "My entire me" screamed for justice. I felt every reason to intervene, and I did it in such a way that I felt bad afterwards. There was this subtle misgiving in my chest saying: "You know something is wrong now. You should offer an apology and say you're sorry." My mental reply was "...but she needs to be told" and "I'm only helping her...", but that voice was still ringing in my ears.

Intuition summarized

The natural response was to intervene and solve the matter. The natural response was to argue with my conscience. The natural response was to maintain my ego. Intuition, however, kept me in the right way. I guess, intuition also might have made me intervene, but had I paused and listened, I'm sure I would have found a better way. Intuition always does! Intuition is about not moving too fast ahead, but listening as we go about our daily business.

Intuition is doing it your way, but also the right way. It's realizing that the right way can indeed be different from one person to another. It highlights you - who you are and what your are. In short, intuition is the way in which you are your best self. What a major difference intuition makes!

What's energation? Energation is the combination of energy and communication (, but also a lot more than that). Here's an experience I had with this highest level of communication just recently:

Yesterday I was part of a meeting with a lot of energy. Said one of the participants towards the end: "This has been a wonderful meeting. I've had to go to the toilet for a long time, and even now, I just don't want to leave the room".   What a great example to illustrate what energation is. There's more to such meetings than just the purpose of the meeting itself. Each time we reach energation, simply being together and experiencing the energy and communication bond with others is a reward alone. We feel heard, understood, validated and important. We've stretched and shared something personal. We open up - maybe we cried. We reach for something beyond the ordinary and trigger emotions and feelings that we experience together. We come alive and communicate the way communication should be.

Energation is life! There are three energies that make it happen: Passion - Connection - Intuition!

The past two weeks Lillian and I brought our five kids far away to a warmer climate (...we live in Norway ;-). I left my computer at home and pretty much never touched my PDA or any other technical device. I guess that's good therapy for someone like me.

Yes, we had a wonderful time, but what I wanted to share is how regardless of holidays, sunny weather, money spent, or even the illusion of "more time at hand", none of these can add to what we already and always have with us; daily one-on-one opportunities with the most important people in our lives.

In breaking with regular routines, there was at least one thing we didn't change during our holidays, and that was regular one-on-one time with each of our children. I always spend Sunday evening visiting with them, one at a time. We share anything we feel like talking about. Most of all, it's a time when they know dad will eventually look them in the eye and simply tell them how wonderful and unique they are. Nothing in the world beats that moment of eye contact, calling them by name and sincerely from the heart express: "I love you".

"One-on-one is where the gold is found..."

Equally amazing are the hours immediately following such a prized experience. I can always sense a leap in self esteem and self worth. Conflict, if there were any, is gone. The atmosphere is one of increased harmony. There is a release of unparalleled energy. In my opinion, one-on-one is the single most powerful investment I know of. That's why, even though I have these opportunities every minute of the day, I actually schedule time to create this arena at least once a week. It's just to make sure that it happens regularly. I wouldn't miss it for all the world.

Applicable in all settings

Always remember, relationships are one-on-one. That's how they really grow and sprout. When one individual interacts with another - and it doesn't have to be in a perceived "private" setting per se - this is where the gold is found. This is where we can create mutual value. This is where energy starts and where it has the best beginning.

Keep in mind this principle next time you plan your week and days: How are you going to create effective one-on-one incidents with colleagues, customers and clients, as well as anyone you know you need to build a quality relationship with? If you do, you'll also be more alert and attentive whenever you have unplanned opportunities to nurture such a moment.

With very few exceptions, successful people are 100% dependent on others for what they seek to accomplish. Unfortunately, most people still think of selling as a one-man show. Nothing could be further from the truth.

A true win is a win-win. Everybody knows that by now. "Win-win" has almost become an outdated hype - a worn out buzz word. However, successful people not only help others succeed through win-win, but they also establish a powerful connection with individuals, which has great value by itself. How do we build such relationships? (Remember, we're not talking about superficial friendships, but emotional and mutually meaningful bonding strength.)

A small but important part of succeeding with others is proactive networking. Effective networking involves five key principles. Each of them is possible to execute in simple actions as listed:

Please note how each principle has a specific action listed (as an example) that illustrates how it's possible to execute in real life.

One tool only

With today's technological tools it's easy to end up using several platforms and utilities to maintain contact details of key people. If we want to make tools effectively serve us and not the other way around, then we need to consolidate and make them work seamlessly together or eliminate those who cannot be integrated. With contact details in more than one place we allow technology to set limits to how many people we can reach, especially long term.

Care about all

Always remember that key people are mostly found in surprising positions. Top executives are important through the role they fill, but we've found that they're seldom the most valuable contacts long term; when they lose their position they sometimes completely lose their "value" - at least through the eyes of a cynic.

Always remember that our basic perception of people shines through no matter what we say or do. If we truly care about people because people have value in themselves, then that's the energy and message that radiates from us. That's what our surroundings pick up and sense. We simply need to be authentic in caring about others and the world will return the favor when we most need it. We care, not because it pays off to care, but because everyone around us has equal value as individuals. (That's something cynical power fighters don't understand, maybe because they never really cared in the first place.)

Law of reciprocity

...means "what we do comes back to us". Notice that the action linked to this principle is "create value by connecting people and specifying opportunities that they share". You'll find that once you connect people, two causal effects often hit in:

1. You'll quickly become part of the potential business
2. People will return the favor and identify possibilities you yourself did not see

One-on-One

Few understand how complex human interaction really is. If you want to connect with people, one of the most basic principles to live by is to stay personal. Friendships are personal, they are what one person shares with another. If you include others, you'll increase the energy of the social setting, but you dilute the opportunity to exchange personal emotions and feelings. Of course we need both settings, but when it comes to connecting with others, one-on-one is by far the most significant arena.

Always available

Being dependable is being there when someone needs you. Frequently, human need will vanish as quickly as the need arises. This means, someone might need information at an instant, immediate advice or a supporting shoulder for which reason they contact you. If you're available, you become the solution - a valuable individual in their life, there and then. If you're unavailable, because the need is instant and "overwhelming", they will call on someone else. Being unavailable quickly becomes lost opportunities, that others pick up simply because they were approachable instead of you.

These five principles, coupled with "the actions that belong to them" are only but a fraction of what connection is all about. However, they are the essence of an effective networker. Do remember - networking is not down to technique; networking is about being sincere, loyal and a believer in "the good stuff" that's inside each of us... In one word, building TRUST!

If you want to effectively influence others three key elements summarize all you need.

Let's say you want to manage a project with a high return on investment. What if you need to gain a lot of followers politically. Maybe your desire is to be an influential spouse or parent, friend or member of society. In short, to achieve any kind of success, you'll need three specific deliverables:

Beginning from the bottom and moving upwards:

• First and foremost, we need power coming from the inside to become unstoppable. (cf The RED heart)

• Second, we need to foster an environment where others succeed when we do. (cf The BLUE battery)

• Third, we need to open our minds to adopt success behavior - meaning we put away old unproductive patterns and replace them with proven skills. (cf The GREEN bolt of lightning)

This time, let's consider what it means to become unstoppable.

Passion is immortal...

Some people may think that to be a real stayer you need to be physically or mentally strong - and more than anything - the owner of a powerful self confidence. Our experience indicates that this is not necessarily the case. While it's useful to be strong, and while self worth helps to guide our choices and direction, this is not what makes someone seriously and insurmountably tough or invincible. What in fact is needed is neither strength nor a positive self image, neither great talent nor strong will. The real deciding factor is simply "passion" (symbolized by a red heart). Once passion has taken hold of you, all that is required is a careful feeding of "constant fuel on the fire". Only microscopic quantities are required to keep passion burning and alive once it's there. (What that fuel is becomes a completely different matter.) Regardless, whether the driving force is a good or a bad one (e.g. love and compassion or revenge and honor), passion is such a conclusive force in the life of every human that even on its own passion can outnumber any group, outsmart any opponent, overcome any type of force and more than anything, it can indeed outlast and conquer all enemies with time as its most effective ally and friend. Passion is simply unstoppable – it cannot be defeated unless you "kill it". And even then, it tends to outlive its possessor through the succeeding generations affected by it.

Passion is yours...

Passion can only be dimmed by its owner; your passion is yours - my passion is mine. That's the essence of passion. It belongs to each of us just like free will. It's personal and completely individual. It simply cannot be taken away from you once you have it. We can decide whether or not we will stay passionate or not. That's the nature of passion. If I "decide" to be passionate about something, no one will ever be in the position to rob me of it, steal it, let alone have any influence over it, whatsoever, unless I give my consent. Passion is our heart.

Passion can be destructive or a power for good...

Herein lies both the blessing and the threat of passion. Some people use passion to accomplish great things, while others apply the same power to pursue hurtful or even dangerous, habitual and harmful appetites, either to themselves or also to others.

In passion on a stand-alone basis there's an element of sheer madness. It contains that wild and enthusiastic obsession that can spread to others. It's scary and alarming, it's contagious – even charismatic and convincing. Passion can be equal to extreme, in the real meaning of the word. Passion on its own behaves more or less without logic. It may even appear to be without fear or pain in warm favor of a naive cause to which one is completely dedicated. While passion can have the outward expression of emotional and wholehearted love, it can also be the intoxicating addiction of a fanatic, lacking any kind of empathy or feeling for others.

Passion is only the beginning...

This sensation of one sided and blinded excessive zeal has both the capacity to a) work enormously grand results or b) to destroy and leave stains never to be erased from human history. Such is the mark of passion. Quite overwhelmingly so, when found in a person it always will "blot the carpet of life", and usually many lives, too. It not only can make a difference, it will and always has a huge impact on society! It's the beginning of influence.

That's the power of passion - the first step of real influence. Want to know how to get passion..?

So your team has everything and they're working hard, but they're still not making their budgets. What's wrong? We can blame everything, but when everything is said and done, there's only one thing that's ultimately the reason why performance is suffering. Do you want to know what that one thing is?

Any company with a growing salesforce will at some point invest in doing more than just putting in hard labor to get results.

Hence, there's a wide array of companies today offering "the solution" to how success can be repeated through a system or model based on empirical research. In short, they offer to bridge the gap between sales effort and missing results.

Some examples of the best sales expertise offered in the market place today are found among the following:

I've worked with several of these models and systems, and you know what..? Regardless of system or model, there's always a fair sized group of people that try, but fail. In fact, the majority never makes it to excellence! They may improve, but they never become truly successful.

Flaw # 1

Every one of the above listed offerings has been developed and discovered over time. They can document success formulas, meaning if you apply the methods and techniques (read: 'behavior') statistically you'll be successful. There's the flaw! Statistics are big numbers, highlighting relevant and significant outcomes based on what we put in. A successful outcome is usually the case, but not without a few exceptions. (I'm strongly in favor of research, but this in an important fact to remember.)

Flaw # 2

The other important reason why models and systems cannot guarantee success is (partly correlated to the above reason) because there are a lot of variables that pure observation never registers. This is why data and research always needs comments and explanations thereby including the stuff that may have been observed, but isn't reflected in the numbers.

Energy is the Missing Link

This past week I've again helped several companies with existing systems "just make selling work", and maybe by now you're wondering how we're doing this ;-)

Well, here's the answer: What we do is add energy to the equation (as mentioned above: Effort + Model = Results) - three types of energy at each critical stage as illustrated here:

The energy to boost effort is Passion. The energy to apply the model and make it work is Connection. The energy to become skillful and harvest results is Intuition.

Adoption - Do it!

The purpose of energy is to get adoption. The salesforce needs to simply do it. A lot of systems are taught, but the paramount reason why people fail is because they're not applying what they've learned. To get results we need adoption. If adoption never takes place, then it's irrelevant how good your system or model is.

Forcing yourself to just "do it" through sheer willpower is hard. In fact, it's not only hard - it's impossible. We see this all the time: Success is only for those with energy; Passion - Connection - Intuition. Only then will we do what it takes.

Once sales people have energy (e.g. "serious motivation") doing it becomes not only easy, it becomes what we want to do - what we like to do - what we do best. This is where a lifestyle and dedicated priority is found. Our task becomes our mission and receives our complete attention and focus. Then success is no longer something we hope for, but a predictable outcome we may expect.

Models and systems come about because they seek to duplicate success behavior, but the most important ingredient of successful people is in fact not their behavior. The key to success is the energy behind what successful people do and which is what gives them the power. Then, and only then, has behavior meaning and the desired effect.

(Read more about how to get energy.)

Did you ever witness a passionate person in action? Passion tends to automatically reveal someone's true and unique personality. In fact, it's so powerful, we almost need not worry about differentiation at all if only we're passionate about what we do. Passion also brings out the best in us, sometimes "lubricating" weaknesses and shortcomings we may normally be suffering from.

Instead of only circling around "how we get passion", this time I'd like to also emphasize the need for balance in communication:

You see, passion is only the beginning! Not only is it but a fraction of success... passion alone may even be destructive if not balanced well. Just think about it: Passion is mainly geared towards "sending out energy". Balance is about also "receiving energy" or being susceptible to it. In short, both giving and receiving. Therefore, there are two more -- cardinal -- energies that make passion work as it should. The 3 Energies are Passion - Connection - Intuition!

The switch that triggers energy

Passion involves reflection: Did you ever make a private and personal discovery that had such a powerful effect on you that it became physically visible?

Connection involves interaction: Did you ever have a conversation with someone you really connected with? What happened to your level of excitement?

Intuition involves innovation: Did you ever have this "mysterious" experience of collaborating with others in such a way that it almost felt like revelation? How did this affect your feelings and dedication?

Why limit ourselves to only utilizing one of these energies when all three are constantly available AND more powerful when combined in one?!

These three combined are what exceptional communication is all about. If you'd like to learn more about them you can turn to a brief webcast about 3E or to the 3E glossary now available on our pages.