The highest level and strongest way in which we tie someone to a promise is Emotional Commitment (EC), the result of energation. Most of the time, people instantly think they understand and therefore perceive this as being "fairly straightforward", and I wish it would be! However, to get this kind of dedicated promise from someone we need to understand energation - the means by which we reach this level of dedication in others.

Emotional Commitment (EC) doesn't just happen by chance - it needs energation as its "engine" to drive it forward. Energation itself hinges on two basic capacities:

1. Sensitivity
2. Energy

To be specific, this means:

1. how sensitive we are a) to self, b) to others and c) to external impressions
2. the energy driving a) our behaviour, b) our relationships and c) revealed problem solving

When sensitivity and energy are balanced we move communication in the direction of energation, or rather, we "energate". This means we move the dialog, balancing energy and sensitivity, in a growing degree of mutual dedication through three levels:

The first level of (customer) dedication is the Born Buying Desire (BBD). The second level of (customer) dedication is the Subjective Linkage (SL). The third level of (customer) dedication is the Emotional Commitment (EC).

Today I'd like to share a quick story to illustrate how BBD and SL precede Emotional Commitment (EC), which is the third and crowning fruit of energation:

I was once involved in providing a major ERP solution to an industrial corporation. They had accepted my invitation to come visit and present what we had to offer (a BBD had been triggered). As the meeting progressed we began to discuss and share how several of the key people in the project were heavily affected by weaknesses in the current information systems. They spent way too much time at the office and were unable to put work behind them when they came home. Their family life was suffering and many other personal matters were also put out in the open (SL was beginning to take effect). At this point we moved into a discussion of how the new solutions should be applied to solve these problems. A stack of suggestions triggered new thinking and ideas from the client that even I had never thought about or seen as possible. These discoveries on the client side caused ownership to grow minute by minute. At the end I was asked to fulfill a number of commitments and any action I needed from them was eagerly accepted. It had become their project and in their interest more than mine (EC).

The Emotional Commitment is where follow up is turned around. Before we get to follow up the customer by the specified deadlines, the customer calls us to make sure we're doing what we're supposed to, making sure we stay on a steady course to contract and delivery. This is what we want! It's commitment on an emotional level.

Finally, a warning. Whenever energy and sensitivity is not balanced, i.e. when either energy or sensitivity is too high or too low, negative energy immediately surfaces. The outward expression or evidence of this is some kind of rejection - what I call "malfunctioning dialog". For a visual illustration of this absolutely critical balance see the diagram below, taken from "The 3 Energies Behind Sales Success".

One of the three most powerful ways in which we can influence others is by linking our product or service to a) the individual purpose or agenda, b) the values and/or c) the deepest desires of the decision maker and stakeholders (in an account). In 3E we've called this "Subjective Linkage". If you're in sales you've probably heard it all before. However, if you study the details of advice given to this challenging - very difficult - task, there is ALWAYS little substance to it. Why? Very few people actually do this!

It's so interesting, you know... The last 30 years of research within sales, influence and psychology has pretty much pointed out everything needed to win contracts - BUT - when asked HOW, the answers get very long and blurry. Right here in this blog post I'm going to give you a clear solution to the task just mentioned in bold print above. Then, if you've really tried this in real life you know how hard it is, and you'll also appreciate my specific reply. (If you're not emotionally touched after reading this blog, then you've probably never struggled with Subjective Linkage in the first place). Let me illustrate with a personal experience:

Not long ago my son and daughter were in some kind of quarrel. I heard one of them screaming from downstairs, clearly as a result of some physical contact. I immediately called for the eldest. When she came up she may have expected me to hold her responsible for whatever the problem was. In stead I asked her, with a friendly smile on my face: "So what's he doing this time (surrendering my complete trust in her agenda, values and sincere desires for good)!" Instantly she looked relieved and had an emotional outburst revealing her inner feelings and frustrations. (If I had scolded her, she would have remained without an open display of feelings.) What came out was of course her "complete innocence", and also how she had honestly tried to solve the bickering how she thought it should be done. I followed up with a hug and a few tears in their behalf, telling her how I too make mistakes as a husband and father. There was no longer any risk in sharing true feelings - bitterness quickly began to dissolve. Then I called for our son to come upstairs, too. I left them speaking alone and soon the problem was solved and forgotten.

This is a practical example of Subjective Linkage - both between my daughter and me, and between my two children.

Here's what needs to be done: When we meet with people, our main purpose should always be to make a real and worthwhile connection. The other person is ALWAYS what's most valuable at any given time! The connection is the highest and greatest compliment we can possibly give. This can be done in many ways, but regardless of how, we need to get personal. The only way to be personal is to at some point or another reveal how we're human and vulnerable and to invite others to do the same.

I deeply believe that each of us has the quality to find for ourselves how this can be done best. This is why 3E focuses on the principles of a connection giving guidance to how we use our personal talent and abilities to make it. The key issue is, once you've established a connection, it's possible to tap into the personal life and agenda of others and it becomes natural to do so. THEN we can establish Subjective Linkage.

If you make a quick search on the web, you'll find a bunch of definitions on "sales success". It seems to me as though a lot of people are making good money on telling others what success is and how it can be achieved. This gives you every right to be suspicious of 3E, too, thinking: "One-on-One and 3E is just another stunt like that. When you've seen one you've seen 'em all."

BUT, there's no need to be. I feel it's time to give every reader a clear message about what we're about (in bold print below) - once and for all:

I believe business is only one - and not the most important - of several arenas where we encounter challenges that can only be solved through effective communication. To make the biggest and most important difference we need to master the most challenging of all arenas first: THE FAMILY

It is one thing to help solve problems in an objective non-emotional role somewhere in society. It is quite another to be part of the problem, deeply drenched in emotions and having to conquer your ego, pride and craving for honor inside the walls of your own home. The latter is by far much more demanding, where the real you is exposed and where we really change the world. What if every father and mother, brother and sister could realize this? I believe that is the first step on the way to every worthwhile goal, such as inner peace, world peace - every possible conflict we are faced with today and so on.

One-on-One and 3E has as its main purpose:

1. to discover with others
2. thee most powerful way to communicate
3. to obtain mutual understanding
4. on every arena

The business perspective, as such, is merely a tool to illustrate, test and prove that 3E is on the way to becoming the fulfillment of this mission. During the seven years I've been working with this in mind we've discovered groundbreaking principles coming from successful selling. I mentioned earlier how we're ready to launch Energation. The definition of Energation sums up everything in one sentence. This is what "The 3 Energies" is all about - a full explanation of Energation.

And then - to make a full circle - I have all that I need. When you buy the book you will not support my wallet nor the financial success of a few single individuals, but the research and effort we're putting in to make Energation a new world phenomenon.

I'm hardly able to express how great it feels to "have mother nature on our side" when selling (see blog post 21st of Dec). It's possible, just like a sailboat, to maneuver by such means that the wind is always blowing our way. Want to know how?

As I've been in sales for a long time, I believe I've gone through most of the pains with regards to rejection. I've been selling on the door, on the street, on the phone, at stands, in meetings and in public seminars and keynote sessions for almost 20 years now. Whichever way you view it, of course rejection hurts!   It just so happens I've been in the lucky position to choose to be in sales. I could've gone in a completely different direction, but I've chosen sales assignments simply because I feel a strong desire to master "the people game" and most of all because I have a higher purpose with what I do. Can you think of anything more complex and challenging than to communicate effectively with people who have every reason not to listen? (Maybe you can, but I particularly enjoy this challenge.)

When we talk about rejection, most advisers in sales will talk about perseverance, patience, hard work, resolving concerns, self esteem and/or goal setting. Sometimes they'll point out that it's not personal and rejection should be received in the same impersonal way. That's probably all good, but again, even though these are important - in sum - what matters is energy. Let me explain:

Every form of rejection is by nature negative energy. Negative energy simply doesn't feel good. It gives us a sense of discomfort and tries to penetrate and produce emotions of pain or being unwanted. What we need to understand is; there's always something in combination with perception that triggers that negative energy. The tricky thing is - most of us don't have the eyes to see what or how, and when we don't our natural response is to block out this undesired response. Ironically, this only increases negative energy AND keeps us from discovering what caused it, or rather, what the source behind it was.

Together with my peers and research associates I've discovered there's a better way.   There are several reasons for rejection - and I don't claim to know them all - but here's the biggest one we've found so far: When someone decides they disagree with or dislike what we propose, negative energy is generated from either one, two or three energy channels - the Operational dialog, the Opinional dialog and/or the Optimal dialog. Each of these dialogs are at least 90% unspoken energy, i.e. words are but "30% of 300% communication". When each of these dialogs are done well AND in sync, our statistics indicate a success rate that equals 5 out of 6, i.e. 83%. For example, when doing so-called "cold calls" you will succeed pretty much "every time". Please allow me to say it again: That feels very good!

The fact that it feels good shows you it's personal. It's evidence that it is. Don't let anyone tell you business is not personal. If you're really in sales you know what rejection feels like. If you're really in sales the dislike for rejection is in your system. If you're really in sales you'll want to know how this is possible!

When releasing the 3 Energies on Thursday end of October next year we're finally and officially launching the concept of "energation", too. It's something I've been looking forward to for a very long time.

From a simplified perspective energation is the combination of communication and energy - almost "energetic communication", if you will. But it's so much more than this. Research preceding this new word has suggested the following official definition - and it's taken 4 years to agree on this very "pregnant" summary:

To interact closely through passion, connection and innovation, reaching understanding and commitment beyond natural ability.

Of course it's hard to explain the full meaning of energation in a brief blog post like this, but here's what I'd like to point out as a bare minimum; energation reaches others on a higher level. (In fact, on a "third level", but that's an entirely different discussion). Energation makes it possible "to be sold" in stead of having to sell. How would you like to position yourself by communicating in such a way that your customer is asking for your help? This is the essence of energation. It leverages three specific fruits:

• Born Buying Desire (BBD)
• Subjective Linkage (SL)
• Emotional Commitment (EC)

I'll have to say more about these three elements at a later stage, I guess. The main thing is; in sum energation results in three fruits representing the solution to "all" those typical problems sales people so often struggle with today; finding new prospects, spending time and strength on the right opportunities, too long sales cycles because their unable to close the business, quote and win stretch business*, accurate predictions about pipeline probability and building faithful client relationships, to just name a very few.

Can you see why I'm so excited about finally getting the 3 Energies to market?! There's so much in basic core sales that needs solid clarification. Now it's all coming folks ;-)

* Contracts of significantly bigger size than what has been closed in the past.