It's ironic! High performing sales people are just like profitable customers: They are driven by a mission and purpose (i.e. WHY). Their burning desire leads them to what we call "desperate dissatisfaction" (i.e. WHAT, WHO and HOW).
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What is it that perpetuates a burning flame in sales personel, or to make a comparison, in our most profitable customers?
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(WHAT) From distrusted to entrusted
The most fundamental part of any success is trust. Trust begins with WHAT. It's down to such things as your track record, what you've done in the past and what you stand for. If what you have to offer based on your history fulfills their purpose (WHY), then this overlap becomes the driver of continued value innovation. One of the initial dialogs with a customer should always be aimed at answering:
- What are you seeking to accomplish?
(WHO) From disabled to enabled
People without people are disabled. The great enabler is WHO. Some say: "It's not what you know, but who you know". The saying is almost true, but in the long run, the correct rendition of reality is "it's what you know and who you know". To build any successful win-win the starting question always is:
- To whom is this important?
(HOW) From discouraged to encouraged
Not knowing how causes feelings of despair and discouragement. The way to encourage performance is helping others discover HOW. Rather than projecting our own solutions on to others, we should pose queries centering around:
- How do you want to do it?
Just like customers, sales people first need to know why. Either help your sales people find out WHY or don't hire them at all. They will never burn like you want them to if they don't know why - from their perspective.
Albert Mehrabian's well-known research (1971) gave an indication of the relative importance of verbal, vocal and visual messages. What other factors are at play when seeking to influence the final outcome of an important decision?
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Red
The bottom layer in red represents the Operational Dialog. It deals with strategy and position. For instance, a clear purpose and strong position affects your attitude and perception of the world around you.
Blue
In turn, position gives relationships meaning and power, which is the second and blue layer. The Opinional Dialog is where feelings can be shared without risk and restrictions.
Green
Likewise, only when position and relationships are in place will the technicalities of the top layer - the Optimal Dialog - really have the desired effect.
To get results
Most sales training aims at the top level of the influence pyramid. In other words, people receive their training without even a basic understanding of the power behind the two preceding layers. Our training and research seems to support a) the importance of paying equal attention to each layer and b) that traditional training only works when done in this order.
Influence is mastering communication on all three levels. That's why most sales training frequently has little effect on performance and results.
What you say, how you say it and when you say it is extremely important in sales. However, words and even details mean next to nothing if you don't understand what gives them power and meaning. Effective Influence is balancing three dialogs at the same time. Here's when words and technique begin to have the desired effect.
Traditional sales training focuses on words and techniques. That's all good, but it will not help much if words are spoken in a weak and failing context.
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Effective influence is alligning and sending out corresponding messages on three levels.
Level 1
As we can see from the illustration above, there are three levels of communication. On the first level we position ourselves and make sure that our message is relevant and important.
Level 2
With a strong position and an important message it's easier to establish a good and meaningful relationship - with the right people.
Level 3
Words are a function of feelings and emotions. We interpret other people among other things by how we feel about them. If we have positive and warm feelings for someone, communication flows naturally and understanding is high. On the other hand, if there's conflict and unresolved emotions, words have less power and the risk of misunderstanding each other increases.
It only makes sense to pay attention to words and details (the Optimal Dialog) if you've first made sure the other two dialogs are in place, i.e. nurturing mutual respect (the Operational Dialog) and building a feeling of friendship (the Opinional Dialog).
If you want to truly connect with people and become influential, you need to master what we call the Opinional Dialog. A lot of sales people believe Connection is about building rapport. Well, it certainly is a lot more than that. How do we start connecting the right way?
In -- any type of conversation -- communication takes place on at least three levels. We refer to these three levels of communication as dialogs. For a conversation to be successful each of these dialogs need to be running in sync, i.e. they need to carry messages that are aligned with each other - they need to correspond. If they don't correspond, the other person will be hearing conflicting signals. When we send out conflicting signals influential power is lost.
One of these three dialogs is the Opinional Dialog, which is foundational to establishing efffective connections.
Three levels of communication each unleashing energy through which information flows
As the above model illustrates the Opinional Dialog is the type of dialog that makes up the second level. This means that it's dependent on the first level - the Operational Dialog - which precedes it. What does this mean? Simply put, one cannot really have a good second level dialog without having the first level dialog in place. Why?
...because the 3E levels deal with:
- What both parties perceive about your POSITION (level 1)
- Who you TRUST and who they TRUST (level 2)
- How WORDS and SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES run in sync with position and trust (level 3)
Let's quickly illustrate with an extremely simplified example:
| You make a second call to a potential account: "Peter, I was just speaking with Bob, and he told me the two of us should talk about the challenges you're facing with..." (Bob is the CEO to whom Peter reports) | ||||||||
What you've just communicated to Peter may be heard and perceived by him as: "You're ranking higher than me - being equal to Bob, my superior. However, you consider me an important part of solving the problems Bob wants to have solved."
In other words, whatever you say after this may more easily allow you to establish a relationship with Peter because he's open and ready to listen. We're aiming for higher communication levels where it's safer to exchange feelings and honest opinions. That's the basic paradigm of the Opinional Dialog. It's where opinions are freely exchanged without manipulation.
Note the basic principle of how communication on one level necessarily precedes another.
To summarize: Operational Dialogs (level 1) lead to Passion, meaning it triggers a sincere interest and opens up the other channels of Connection and Intuition. Therefore, before Connection can be established Passion first needs to be in place. If we try to change the order, building a relationship of trust will be very difficult to do.
Asking WHO
The Opinional Dialog is about asking and working with WHO:
- Who has influence on (e.g. final decision)?
- Who needs what we have to offer?
- Who understands our message?
- etc
Once we've answered the WHO-questions we're ready to build a good relationship with the right people.
Next time I'll say more about the third level of communication where we move into HOW by more closely scrutinizing words and phrases. This is when language -- finally -- begins to matter. What traditional sales training usually tends to focus on as "the real deal", The 3 Energies Behind Sales Success merely lists as number three and of least importance.
Successful sales people deliver excellent results regardless of recession or not!
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I've been around long enough to see what makes the difference. Even though the market may be in an actual downward slope, some of us still deliver outstanding results. Why?
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As a student years ago I majored in Finance and got my Masters degree in Influence Management, but this education makes little sense when everyone starts complaining about the market. I've witnessed great sales people drop like flies! The difference lies in knowing how to find business and then to maneuver in such a way that you become the most attractive alternative.
A year ago I wrote a blog post that introduces the subject of how the best sales people are flexible enough to adapt smoothly to circumstance. It will lead you to other blog posts that tell you more about how to be successful in spite of external conditions. It's not a secret!
In June this year we began organizing what is now known as a worldwide group of Elite Sales Professionals. Today we are more than 1.000 high performers and a powerful group of competent people. LinkedIn serves as the initial connection and meeting point, but it will soon be complimented by smart online solutions. These solutions will allow members three basic privileges:
- An evolutionary collaboration model for tipping-point results
- A network of quality people to visualize business opportunities
- An online framework to innovate new money generation activities
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The current group definition reads: "High performing sales people with experience in strategy and positioning, network and relations as well as pure skills and customer centric concepts such as innovation and product development. Trustworthy and competent professionals able to create value balancing people with business and money."
Once we've reached critical mass and the beta versions of the online solutions are in place, the Expert Panel behind this group will introduce a second round of qualification. This is when we'll experience the long planned "explosion" of the quality network we're only witnessing the small beginnings of today. Let me assure you; the Expert Panel is not without ambition with this worldwide undertaking! (And yes, the Expert Panel is yet to be formally introduced.)
We can control our subconscious mind to become more influential. Here's a brief blog post about how you can make the subconscious mind work for you. It can both influence you and then others without manipulation.
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Thoughts precede actionsI've long been a fan of James Allen's small book "As a Man Thinketh". The subject matter is that thoughts precede our actions - always. We are what we think. However, there is a deeper level. Thoughts, too, are merely the result of deeper choices we've already made. |
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Scientific background
Benjamin Libet's groundbreaking scientific research indicated that while we believe our actions are conscious decisions, the subconscious has already guided us in how we respond. This may seem to be in contradiction with Stephen Covey's maintaining there's a "gap between stimulus and response", meaning we can decide for ourselves and be proactive. How do these seemingly opposing views add up?
Sales people, in particular, have ample reason to pay special attention to how we apply the subconscious mind in this respect. If, for instance, we simply want the money and the sales bonus, but don't care much about the product or service we offer, then it will shine through. Our desires affect our thoughts, our thoughts affect our behavior - and this is the key point - our behavior is read by the subconscious mind of the customer (Their mind will read: "insincerity" and "you don't really care, as long as you get your bonus and money".)
The customer may think he or she makes conscious decisions about you and your offering, whereas what really takes place is the projecting of your deepest desires onto them.
Decide NOW what you want! You're already getting what you didn't know you already want.
If you want to influence others - follow these four steps for taking notes and you'll quickly discover an improved flow in communication, mutual understanding and increased power to be persuasive:
(1) Divide Paper in Four
First, before taking notes divide your paper in four areas by drawing a big cross (as explained in my previous blog post). Above the line (the red area), write down keywords for everything that is negative. Below the line (the green area), keep score of every positive statement and explanation.
(2) Differentiate Between Positive and Negative
When you ask the right questions, you'll find that problems (the top red area) are sometimes indirect, i.e. they are connected to or a result of other problems. Make sure to distinguish between the two. The same goes for solution oriented positive statements. Consider this example:
PROBLEM: "My computer crashes on me..." (direct) "...I lose important data" (indirect)
SOLUTION: "...a laptop that never crashes"! (direct) "...keeps my data safe" (indirect)
(3) Balance the Feedback
Persuasion is found in knowing both what bugs people and how they'd like to fix it. Top sales performers spot the difference and always make sure there's a balance between "red" and "green". If the client only provides problems in the "red area", we pull out - through questioning - the flip side of those same problems; the solutions in the "green area". Vice versa, if clients only give us wish lists, then we dig for the problem(s) behind their expressed desires.
(4) Stick to Your Notes When Presenting
Once the other person has clearly and fully explained what's wrong and how he or she would like to resolve the matter, then we present our offering tailored strictly to the bullet points we've written down.
That's an effective way to take notes in a sales meeting - and apply them both in the meeting and for future reference!
Taking notes is not a common habit or lifestyle. Taking notes is in fact rarely seen spontaneously among people being trained or even while sitting in meetings. That's very unfortunate - for them - for those sharing their intelligence and energy - maybe even mostly for those not present. Why? ...and what happens when people take notes?
Taking notes is one of many forms of interactive rhythm. Let's just briefly consider three elements of "notes taking" as a subject, and then our own contemplation may help us discover more than what this short post can contain:
(1) Taking notes to improve dialog
When people take notes you can quickly spot a difference in attentiveness and concentration, openness and sharing, innovation and creativity, participation and dialog, involvement and ownership, ability to learn and apply and many other traits crucial to interaction that will lead to change and results.
(2) Taking notes the right way
Learning how to take notes is therefore a major competency few are aware of or ever learn. We take different kinds of notes in different kinds of settings. (My next post will be about taking notes in a sales meeting.). When taking notes is done well, the value increases dramatically and we feel a strong desire to keep them safe from harms way or loss.
(3) Taking notes to extend memory and feelings
Taking care of notes is important for safekeeping of new learning, discoveries*, commitments and maybe most important - the feelings and emotions we have. When was the last time you wrote down what you felt or what impressions you had besides what was actually being said e.g. in a meeting? Can you imagine why that would be important?
Good notes taking extends our memory. Strictly personal notes and the more profound "lessons of life" - I think - should be kept in a journal. Individuals who actively write and keep a journal appear to be more mature. Maybe it is because it leads to a kind of constant therapeutic exercise and self evaluation that's healthy for all of us. It increases self awareness.
So many times we make the greatest discoveries while we venture to write down in words what we just discovered. Spot the pattern of your notes during the past year. Where are they? Do you browse through them sometimes? Are they in a safe place? Will they be available in 5 or 10 years?
(4) Taking notes to influence others
The habit and principle of taking notes will enhance your lifestyle in ways you cannot understand until you actually start doing it. It's interactive rhythm and will - over time - add to your ability to be more persuasive, yes, even charismatic! Without further ado or elaboration, I am today who and what I am, very much because of the notes my closest peers took while I was not there. Consider what your notes may some day do for someone else.
I encourage you to a) carry a notepad with you, b) think through what and how you will write and then c) work on the habit of constantly doing it. Take notes!
* Ideas and discoveries disappear usually as quickly as they appear. Having a notebook handy always is as valuable as the impressions you may want to retain.
O®O is powerful and practical. To illustrate what the 3E dialogs are about, I've put together a number of samples. This first sample is "Finding Rhythm":
1st dialog: Operational
Suppose you've been feeling guilty for not getting regular exercise. At some point you decide to pull yourself together and get back into it. The moment that feeling drives you to actually start running, swimming, biking, walking or other type of concrete action, the first dialog that's been going on for a while becomes visible.
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(Energy triggered from Operational dialog: PASSION) | |
2nd dialog: Opinional
Once we recommit to regular exercise we may decide to share it with friends that are supportive. This sharing with others leaves you vulnerable as they are getting to know something about your personal struggles. It may feel risky, but it helps you stay on course.
Many of us muster strength to begin something great, but few of us turn good intentions into a lifestyle. One significant way to reach higher commitment is by including other people in our quest. A friend, spouse or colleague may be of great help when you decide to make radical change - even though it may seem very small or insignificant. It is when we commit to another, a group or to the public in general that we find strength beyond our own. Too few of us make use of this!
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(Energy triggered from Opinional dialog: CONNECTION) | |
3rd dialog: Optimal
Even help and support from others is not enough! When reality hits in, when you're gasping for air, when you're body hurts and when strength is gone most of us simply quit. Maybe not instantly, but over time, let's face it, we give up. Is regular exercise a lifestyle or does it tend to "come and go"? If it's no lifestyle, but rather a haphazard project, then you're not seriously tapping into the third dialog which could be e.g. "finding rythm".
Every successful individual has reached the stage where a distinct pattern reveals itself - over time. It's a kind of rhythm. When you run, you find that running in sync with your breathing helps. That's what we might call a "micro rhythm". A macro rhythm would be your running every day, every other day or even just once a week. Rhythm can be a lot of different things. Most fascinating of all, rhythm is only truly understood by those who keep pressing on. It can indeed be challenging to explain rhythm within a particular field of expertise to an outsider simply because some of it will remain concealed until the two first dialogs are in place!
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(Energy triggered from Optimal dialog: INTUITION) | |
Each stage is a dialog - internal and external. These dialogs apply to EVERY aspect of life, but in this setting we especially have the perspective and interest of helping sales people improve performance. Staying in physical shape is but an example of principles that apply everywhere.
Each dialog revisited
Once you've been through each dialog, a continuing spiral comes into effect, leading you to revisit each dialog at a consistent basis, but every time in a more profound way:
- (Revisiting Operational) e.g. building a culture or tradition - pass it on to others
- (Revisiting Opinional) e.g. becoming inspiring and an example to others
- (Revisiting Optimal) e.g. innovating new ways to improve

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