Much has been written about success, maybe almost to an excess, thus possibly making "success" unclear and difficult. Is there not a way to keep it short and to the point? There is! This blog post answers - simply - those two questions sought after by so many: 1) What is success, and 2) what does it take to be successful?

What is success?

The core of success is threefold:

1. Discovering what you want - PASSION
2. Consistently working with others to get it - CONNECTION
3. Refining skills and application of principles to adjust to reality - INTUITION

When applied, each step quickly becomes a cyclical pattern that ever brings us to higher levels. Once you've visited each of them, maybe step 1 transforms into "discovering what you should want", step 2 into "working with others to get what they want" and step 3 into realising that you actually "enjoy the journey of development itself" ...and so it keeps lifting you and those around you to higher, continually greater, satisfaction and self awareness.

Whoever is rich, famous or even dramatically gifted may not be successful at all! Success is a process, not a final destination. Thus, people may find sudden superfluous "success" without the required process, only to find neither the happiness nor the satifsfaction they expected.

And here's the icing on the cake: Success becomes increasingly more generic the more you experience it. We gradually sense that the essence of success looms much higher than money and "the things of this world". Ultimately, success is freedom from external conditions and is more a feeling and awareness than anything else. Wealth may be, and sometimes is, an outward expression of something that was created inside long before it became visible on the outside.

Interestingly, not only do Passion, Connection and Intuition define success. Passion, Connection and Intuition also explain how we can be successful.

What does it take to have success?

PASSION

More important than anything else is an inside drive to withstand opposition and natural tendencies. When you decide to have success (in any specified way) you're instantly faced with breaking out of old patterns. Passion helps you stay at it!

CONNECTION

We need to find individuals that not only can help pull us in the right direction, but who also care about us enough that they actually will. The world is interdependent and there's no other way than to succeed with others. Connection binds us together!

INTUITION

Success does not immediately pay off. This is the nature of big worthwhile achievements. It takes time! Doing small and simple yet significant daily actions takes discipline. Acquiring skills takes discipline, and discipline takes skill. However, listening to the inside voice is ultimately what really makes the leap to tipping-point results. It's knowing that you didn't do it on your own - not even together with others. Intuition does exactly that!

Conclusion

Success is best summarized in three words: Passion, Connection, Intuition. They tell us both what success is and how it can be achieved.

PASSION is energy coming from the inside. CONNECTION is energy shared between us. INTUITION is energy coming from the outside and the unknown.

Passion, Connection and Intuition are each a type of energy - they are the 3 Energies (3E). 3E is what success is all about. In this setting they are especially applied to sales and influence, but eventually they apply to every aspect of life.

Success - keep it simple!

If you want to truly connect with people and become influential, you need to master what we call the Opinional Dialog. A lot of sales people believe Connection is about building rapport. Well, it certainly is a lot more than that. How do we start connecting the right way?

In -- any type of conversation -- communication takes place on at least three levels. We refer to these three levels of communication as dialogs. For a conversation to be successful each of these dialogs need to be running in sync, i.e. they need to carry messages that are aligned with each other - they need to correspond. If they don't correspond, the other person will be hearing conflicting signals. When we send out conflicting signals influential power is lost.

One of these three dialogs is the Opinional Dialog, which is foundational to establishing efffective connections.

Three levels of communication each unleashing energy through which information flows

As the above model illustrates the Opinional Dialog is the type of dialog that makes up the second level. This means that it's dependent on the first level - the Operational Dialog - which precedes it. What does this mean? Simply put, one cannot really have a good second level dialog without having the first level dialog in place. Why?

...because the 3E levels deal with:

1. What both parties perceive about your POSITION (level 1)
2. Who you TRUST and who they TRUST (level 2)
3. How WORDS and SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES run in sync with position and trust (level 3)

Let's quickly illustrate with an extremely simplified example:

What you've just communicated to Peter may be heard and perceived by him as: "You're ranking higher than me - being equal to Bob, my superior. However, you consider me an important part of solving the problems Bob wants to have solved."

In other words, whatever you say after this may more easily allow you to establish a relationship with Peter because he's open and ready to listen. We're aiming for higher communication levels where it's safer to exchange feelings and honest opinions. That's the basic paradigm of the Opinional Dialog. It's where opinions are freely exchanged without manipulation.

Note the basic principle of how communication on one level necessarily precedes another.

To summarize: Operational Dialogs (level 1) lead to Passion, meaning it triggers a sincere interest and opens up the other channels of Connection and Intuition. Therefore, before Connection can be established Passion first needs to be in place. If we try to change the order, building a relationship of trust will be very difficult to do.

Asking WHO

The Opinional Dialog is about asking and working with WHO:

• Who has influence on (e.g. final decision)?
• Who needs what we have to offer?
• Who understands our message?
• etc

Once we've answered the WHO-questions we're ready to build a good relationship with the right people.

Next time I'll say more about the third level of communication where we move into HOW by more closely scrutinizing words and phrases. This is when language -- finally -- begins to matter. What traditional sales training usually tends to focus on as "the real deal", The 3 Energies Behind Sales Success merely lists as number three and of least importance.

In June this year we began organizing what is now known as a worldwide group of Elite Sales Professionals. Today we are more than 1.000 high performers and a powerful group of competent people. LinkedIn serves as the initial connection and meeting point, but it will soon be complimented by smart online solutions. These solutions will allow members three basic privileges:

• An evolutionary collaboration model for tipping-point results
• A network of quality people to visualize business opportunities
• An online framework to innovate new money generation activities

The current group definition reads: "High performing sales people with experience in strategy and positioning, network and relations as well as pure skills and customer centric concepts such as innovation and product development. Trustworthy and competent professionals able to create value balancing people with business and money."

Once we've reached critical mass and the beta versions of the online solutions are in place, the Expert Panel behind this group will introduce a second round of qualification. This is when we'll experience the long planned "explosion" of the quality network we're only witnessing the small beginnings of today. Let me assure you; the Expert Panel is not without ambition with this worldwide undertaking! (And yes, the Expert Panel is yet to be formally introduced.)

We can control our subconscious mind to become more influential. Here's a brief blog post about how you can make the subconscious mind work for you. It can both influence you and then others without manipulation.

				Thoughts precede actions I've long been a fan of James Allen's small book "As a Man Thinketh". The subject matter is that thoughts precede our actions - always. We are what we think. However, there is a deeper level. Thoughts, too, are merely the result of deeper choices we've already made.

Scientific background

Benjamin Libet's groundbreaking scientific research indicated that while we believe our actions are conscious decisions, the subconscious has already guided us in how we respond. This may seem to be in contradiction with Stephen Covey's maintaining there's a "gap between stimulus and response", meaning we can decide for ourselves and be proactive. How do these seemingly opposing views add up?

Desires precede thoughts I believe where it all starts is with our deepest desires. What we want is what determines where we spend our "thinking engine". So even though, actions are a result of thoughts, and thoughts are a result of desires, we can indeed make up our minds as to what we want.

Sales people, in particular, have ample reason to pay special attention to how we apply the subconscious mind in this respect. If, for instance, we simply want the money and the sales bonus, but don't care much about the product or service we offer, then it will shine through. Our desires affect our thoughts, our thoughts affect our behavior - and this is the key point - our behavior is read by the subconscious mind of the customer (Their mind will read: "insincerity" and "you don't really care, as long as you get your bonus and money".)

The customer may think he or she makes conscious decisions about you and your offering, whereas what really takes place is the projecting of your deepest desires onto them.

Decide NOW what you want! You're already getting what you didn't know you already want.

Taking notes is not a common habit or lifestyle. Taking notes is in fact rarely seen spontaneously among people being trained or even while sitting in meetings. That's very unfortunate - for them - for those sharing their intelligence and energy - maybe even mostly for those not present. Why? ...and what happens when people take notes?

Taking notes is one of many forms of interactive rhythm. Let's just briefly consider three elements of "notes taking" as a subject, and then our own contemplation may help us discover more than what this short post can contain:

(1) Taking notes to improve dialog

When people take notes you can quickly spot a difference in attentiveness and concentration, openness and sharing, innovation and creativity, participation and dialog, involvement and ownership, ability to learn and apply and many other traits crucial to interaction that will lead to change and results.

(2) Taking notes the right way

Learning how to take notes is therefore a major competency few are aware of or ever learn. We take different kinds of notes in different kinds of settings. (My next post will be about taking notes in a sales meeting.). When taking notes is done well, the value increases dramatically and we feel a strong desire to keep them safe from harms way or loss.

(3) Taking notes to extend memory and feelings

Taking care of notes is important for safekeeping of new learning, discoveries*, commitments and maybe most important - the feelings and emotions we have. When was the last time you wrote down what you felt or what impressions you had besides what was actually being said e.g. in a meeting? Can you imagine why that would be important?

Good notes taking extends our memory. Strictly personal notes and the more profound "lessons of life" - I think - should be kept in a journal. Individuals who actively write and keep a journal appear to be more mature. Maybe it is because it leads to a kind of constant therapeutic exercise and self evaluation that's healthy for all of us. It increases self awareness.

So many times we make the greatest discoveries while we venture to write down in words what we just discovered. Spot the pattern of your notes during the past year. Where are they? Do you browse through them sometimes? Are they in a safe place? Will they be available in 5 or 10 years?

(4) Taking notes to influence others

The habit and principle of taking notes will enhance your lifestyle in ways you cannot understand until you actually start doing it. It's interactive rhythm and will - over time - add to your ability to be more persuasive, yes, even charismatic! Without further ado or elaboration, I am today who and what I am, very much because of the notes my closest peers took while I was not there. Consider what your notes may some day do for someone else.

I encourage you to a) carry a notepad with you, b) think through what and how you will write and then c) work on the habit of constantly doing it. Take notes!

* Ideas and discoveries disappear usually as quickly as they appear. Having a notebook handy always is as valuable as the impressions you may want to retain.

O®O is powerful and practical. To illustrate what the 3E dialogs are about, I've put together a number of samples. This first sample is "Finding Rhythm":

1st dialog: Operational

Suppose you've been feeling guilty for not getting regular exercise. At some point you decide to pull yourself together and get back into it. The moment that feeling drives you to actually start running, swimming, biking, walking or other type of concrete action, the first dialog that's been going on for a while becomes visible.

		(Energy triggered from Operational dialog: PASSION)

2nd dialog: Opinional

Once we recommit to regular exercise we may decide to share it with friends that are supportive. This sharing with others leaves you vulnerable as they are getting to know something about your personal struggles. It may feel risky, but it helps you stay on course.

Many of us muster strength to begin something great, but few of us turn good intentions into a lifestyle. One significant way to reach higher commitment is by including other people in our quest. A friend, spouse or colleague may be of great help when you decide to make radical change - even though it may seem very small or insignificant. It is when we commit to another, a group or to the public in general that we find strength beyond our own. Too few of us make use of this!

		(Energy triggered from Opinional dialog: CONNECTION)

3rd dialog: Optimal

Even help and support from others is not enough! When reality hits in, when you're gasping for air, when you're body hurts and when strength is gone most of us simply quit. Maybe not instantly, but over time, let's face it, we give up. Is regular exercise a lifestyle or does it tend to "come and go"? If it's no lifestyle, but rather a haphazard project, then you're not seriously tapping into the third dialog which could be e.g. "finding rythm".

Every successful individual has reached the stage where a distinct pattern reveals itself - over time. It's a kind of rhythm. When you run, you find that running in sync with your breathing helps. That's what we might call a "micro rhythm". A macro rhythm would be your running every day, every other day or even just once a week. Rhythm can be a lot of different things. Most fascinating of all, rhythm is only truly understood by those who keep pressing on. It can indeed be challenging to explain rhythm within a particular field of expertise to an outsider simply because some of it will remain concealed until the two first dialogs are in place!

		(Energy triggered from Optimal dialog: INTUITION)

Each stage is a dialog - internal and external. These dialogs apply to EVERY aspect of life, but in this setting we especially have the perspective and interest of helping sales people improve performance. Staying in physical shape is but an example of principles that apply everywhere.

Each dialog revisited

Once you've been through each dialog, a continuing spiral comes into effect, leading you to revisit each dialog at a consistent basis, but every time in a more profound way:

1. (Revisiting Operational) e.g. building a culture or tradition - pass it on to others
2. (Revisiting Opinional) e.g. becoming inspiring and an example to others
3. (Revisiting Optimal) e.g. innovating new ways to improve

If you want to influence others, here's how basic influence is. Make sure you always:

1. believe in what you do - PASSION
2. establish strong relationships - CONNECTION
3. learn and grow in talent, but apply it your way - INTUITION

I believe each of these three categories is worth a lifetime of study, but they remain the essence of influence. It's the essence of selling; basic sales. They are "The 3 Energies Behind Sales Success". The ultimate summary on sales!

YouTube presentation about these three energies.

Intuition is the ability to act without reasoning AND harvest a successful, sometimes predictable, outcome. Intuition is knowing how to act without necessarily being able to explain why. Intuition can be the tiniest inkling, but at the same time a powerful urge, and when suppressed it will leave you feeling imbalanced and out of place. Intuition is natural talent and can almost have similar characteristics as that of a reflex. Intuition is the principle of personal power in that it belongs to you, being almost like a protective force as well as giving you an edge on your surroundings. Fight intuition and you'll lose. Nurture intuition and you'll grow, you'll learn and above all you'll be victorious.

Is intuition a mystery? Sure it is. But, however mystical it might be, it still remains a fact. There are a lot of things that are hard to explain, but we still know they are real. Intuition is real. You're asking: How do you know, Vidar? Well, I've "tasted" it. I've acted on it, and I've taught others to do so, and do you know what I've found..? Intuition never fails. It's like an inner compass that points out the way and energizes everything we do.

Why is intuition important?

I always emphasize intuition during training sessions. One important reason for this is because intuition frees up talent. Each one of us does things differently. Sales models often specify behavior too much. If a sales model is not focused around generic principles it tends to limit a persons freedom to employ talent - which all of us have in abundance. By focusing on principles, individuals can apply them whichever way they want.

But even in this, intuition is not completely defined. Intuition has the amazing capacity to instantly and without warning also help us discover new principles - while on the go. And beat this; intuition especially uncovers those specific principles YOU have a unique gift to wield in battle. Any one particular "style" may be almost impossible for one person to adopt, but might beautifully fit another, almost like the size of a shoe. This fit usually takes place when two conditions are first in place:

• When we learn what needs to be learned about basics
• When we make a special effort to succeed - we move through frustration and exert ourselves beyond our comfort zone

My advice: Learn from others, but apply that same learning your way! Your inner compass will tell you how.

Intuition can be a powerful ally when applied correctly. However, sometimes intuition is mixed up with "whatever comes natural" in such a way that it hurts more than it does good. Yes, intuition is closely linked to natural response. Still, intuition is not doing what we feel like doing, rather it is doing what we know we should be doing. Let me illustrate the difference with a personal experience:

								Recently, one of my daughters really got on my nerves. You know how it is. Even the best people can sometimes just step on your toes, and not even sense it. Only, this time she stepped unawares on the toes of someone else. "My entire me" screamed for justice. I felt every reason to intervene, and I did it in such a way that I felt bad afterwards. There was this subtle misgiving in my chest saying: "You know something is wrong now. You should offer an apology and say you're sorry." My mental reply was "...but she needs to be told" and "I'm only helping her...", but that voice was still ringing in my ears.

Intuition summarized

The natural response was to intervene and solve the matter. The natural response was to argue with my conscience. The natural response was to maintain my ego. Intuition, however, kept me in the right way. I guess, intuition also might have made me intervene, but had I paused and listened, I'm sure I would have found a better way. Intuition always does! Intuition is about not moving too fast ahead, but listening as we go about our daily business.

Intuition is doing it your way, but also the right way. It's realizing that the right way can indeed be different from one person to another. It highlights you - who you are and what your are. In short, intuition is the way in which you are your best self. What a major difference intuition makes!

So your team has everything and they're working hard, but they're still not making their budgets. What's wrong? We can blame everything, but when everything is said and done, there's only one thing that's ultimately the reason why performance is suffering. Do you want to know what that one thing is?

Any company with a growing salesforce will at some point invest in doing more than just putting in hard labor to get results.

Hence, there's a wide array of companies today offering "the solution" to how success can be repeated through a system or model based on empirical research. In short, they offer to bridge the gap between sales effort and missing results.

Some examples of the best sales expertise offered in the market place today are found among the following:

I've worked with several of these models and systems, and you know what..? Regardless of system or model, there's always a fair sized group of people that try, but fail. In fact, the majority never makes it to excellence! They may improve, but they never become truly successful.

Flaw # 1

Every one of the above listed offerings has been developed and discovered over time. They can document success formulas, meaning if you apply the methods and techniques (read: 'behavior') statistically you'll be successful. There's the flaw! Statistics are big numbers, highlighting relevant and significant outcomes based on what we put in. A successful outcome is usually the case, but not without a few exceptions. (I'm strongly in favor of research, but this in an important fact to remember.)

Flaw # 2

The other important reason why models and systems cannot guarantee success is (partly correlated to the above reason) because there are a lot of variables that pure observation never registers. This is why data and research always needs comments and explanations thereby including the stuff that may have been observed, but isn't reflected in the numbers.

Energy is the Missing Link

This past week I've again helped several companies with existing systems "just make selling work", and maybe by now you're wondering how we're doing this ;-)

Well, here's the answer: What we do is add energy to the equation (as mentioned above: Effort + Model = Results) - three types of energy at each critical stage as illustrated here:

The energy to boost effort is Passion. The energy to apply the model and make it work is Connection. The energy to become skillful and harvest results is Intuition.

Adoption - Do it!

The purpose of energy is to get adoption. The salesforce needs to simply do it. A lot of systems are taught, but the paramount reason why people fail is because they're not applying what they've learned. To get results we need adoption. If adoption never takes place, then it's irrelevant how good your system or model is.

Forcing yourself to just "do it" through sheer willpower is hard. In fact, it's not only hard - it's impossible. We see this all the time: Success is only for those with energy; Passion - Connection - Intuition. Only then will we do what it takes.

Once sales people have energy (e.g. "serious motivation") doing it becomes not only easy, it becomes what we want to do - what we like to do - what we do best. This is where a lifestyle and dedicated priority is found. Our task becomes our mission and receives our complete attention and focus. Then success is no longer something we hope for, but a predictable outcome we may expect.

Models and systems come about because they seek to duplicate success behavior, but the most important ingredient of successful people is in fact not their behavior. The key to success is the energy behind what successful people do and which is what gives them the power. Then, and only then, has behavior meaning and the desired effect.

(Read more about how to get energy.)